Senior citizens claim to have way more sex than you do
New research shows that your grandparents might be more sexually active than you are, and confirms the age-old theory that men are horny bastards no matter what age we get to.
A recent study by the International Longevity Centre found that 25 percent of British men over the age of 85 have had sex in the past year. Which is to say that at least 25 percent of men born before the invention of the ballpoint pen (invented in 1934) are still getting down on at least an annual basis.
While this number is impressive, it stands in striking contrast to the rate among 85-year-old women that have had sex in the past year. The study found that only 10 percent of women over the age of 85 have had sex within the last year.
Researchers at the International Longevity Centre say these numbers confirm the idea that men are generally more interested in sex than women. These findings are especially apparent when you look at the rate at which elderly women think about sex versus elderly men.
When asked how often they think about sex in the past month, 90 percent of women over 85 say they never think about sex, while only 65 percent of men respond the same way.
If that's the case — that elderly women rarely think about or have sex — who exactly are these horny grandpas having sex with?
If 1 in 4 men aged 85 and older had sex in the past year, while only 1 in 10 women of the same age did, who is banging who? Are these guys pulling a Hugh Hefner and bedding much younger women? Or, is a select group of women aged 85 and older really getting after it all in the retirement home?
Though we can’t really know for certain, we tend to think it’s the latter. We do know for certain there has been a tremendous increase in STD rates among senior citizens in recent years — largely stemming from the communal living situations most seniors find themselves in nowadays. Essentially, retirement communities and nursing homes are the senior citizen version an ASU co-ed freshmen dorm. And your grannies be fuckin'.
Since 2007, there was a 52 percent increase in Syphilis among the elderly. So it seems safe to say that your sweet old granny and grampy have been getting around.
While some may shudder at the thought of their grandparents having sex, let's not gloss over the fact that they're human too. Sex is awesome, and we’d like it to continue having it for as long as possible. Plus, you wouldn’t even exist if your grandparents didn’t have sex. So cheers one this weekend to elderly person sex and when we’re 85.