Sex therapist calls bullshit on the '12 types of orgasms'

Sex therapist calls bullshit on the '12 types of orgasms'

SexJuly 30, 2018 By Lindsey Kline

Google “types of orgasms” and prepare to feel like your genitals are defective. Page after page promises unheard-of orgasms, stimulating parts of the body you didn’t even know existed.

“It’s complete nonsense,” says Dr. Laura Deitsch, a licensed clinical professional counselor. “These mainstream women’s magazines are all telling us there are ‘5, 10, 12 different types of orgasms,' and it’s convincing people that they’re doing it wrong or that they’re inadequate.”

In a typical listicle of orgasms, you’ll find the legendary G-spot orgasm, the obscure “A-spot” (anterior fornix) orgasm, the even more mysterious “U-spot” (urethra) orgasm, the stir-up-your-innards cervical orgasm, nipple, anal and oral orgasms, and for the sad underachievers, the clitoral orgasm.

If you’re not experiencing 11 of the 12 climaxes, it’s easy to feel sexually incompetent. This is where Dr. Deitsch steps in, to debunk the myth that you can orgasm from any appendage or orifice.

The easiest orgasms to discredit: the ones nowhere near your genitals. Nipple orgasms, oral orgasms, throat orgasms. Sure, maybe you can climax while having your nipples stimulated, but is the orgasm actually occurring in your chest? No, you know damn well it’s happening below the belt.

“If you rub a guy in the belly button and he climaxes, I’m not going to say that’s a belly button orgasm,” Dr. Deitsch says.

When it comes to orgasms happening in your primary erogenous zones — like the clitoris, labia, G-spot or anus — experts have claimed that skillful manipulation of these myriad private parts should leave you able to achieve double-digit different orgasms. That’s also trumped up.

The clitoris is far-reaching. Applying stimulation to anything in the vicinity will also likely apply pressure, friction or vibration to the clitoris, making it difficult to differentiate climaxes in this area. The ambiguity of orgasms is a direct result of the interwoven nature of our anatomy.

This might even explain why many women (studies put the proportion at around 18 percent) claim they can orgasm from penetration alone.

“Unfortunately, most men assume the majority of women orgasm by penetration, and that women who need clitoral stimulation are the outliers,” Dr. Deitsch says. “The myth that women more frequently orgasm from vaginal penetration perpetuates the ugly messages women often tell themselves, like ‘I take too long,’ ‘I’m needy’ or ‘I’m greedy.’”

To solve these sexual hangups, stop falling for the media hype. Headlines like “The Newest Orgasm That You Never Had” are just a manipulative way to get your attention. “Look at Cosmopolitan,” Dr. Deitsch says, “they’ve used that same title for 30 years and people are still buying it, so they must be onto something.”

“The bottom line is: an orgasm is an orgasm is an orgasm. When there's a sudden release of sexual tension, your muscles contract and you feel a shuttering sensation, I don’t want to split hairs as to what we’re gonna call it,” Dr. Deitsch says.

Exploration, communication and discovery of new erogenous zones are great things to strive for, but if it makes you feel inferior, screw it, Dr. Deitsch says, “just rub things until it feels good.”

[originally published March 29, 2018]