Shirtless ex-stripper will cuddle the awkward right out of you for $75

Shirtless ex-stripper will cuddle the awkward right out of you for $75

VicesFebruary 01, 2016 By Isabelle Kohn

Travis Sigley hates shirts. He sees no point in them. Because he is, after all, an ex-stripper whose body we can only assume is like some sort of mouthwatering cross between David Beckham and Jesus. Shirts understandably self-implode if he tries to use them preserve a modicum of professional decency, slipping from his strong grasp as he grabs for their soft corners. They just don't want anything to do with him.

You know what else Travis hates? Awkwardness. After he he used his shirt-resistant body for fast cash as a stripper, he noticed that his clients weren't really trying to fuck him so much as they just needed someone to talk to. “I wasn’t there as a sexually motivated male," he said to the New York Daily News. "Talking to these people provided a sense of ease and safety that they don’t often get from a lot of males. I was able to simply be there with them, be gentle and kind.”

Travis ascertained that these clients, along with a large portion of society, feel uncomfortable in social situations.

"A lot of people are really disconnected from each other, and socially or personally awkward,” he said. Guess what else he thinks? That people are socially awkward because they don't touch enough strangers. They're uncomfortable with the foreign fingers of a non-acquaintance.

So, Travis wants to help these people by hugging them people horizontally in what's known as Cuddle Therapy. That's right, guys and gals, this shirtless stunner will be your big spoon for the low, low price of just $75/hour. The silky softness of his skin and the warm embrace of his big stripper arms supposedly chip away at your awkwardness, giving way to a you that's more at home around people. Shirtless strippers in particular.

During one of his private cuddle sessions, you can expect to not have sex, learn to relate to others through touch, meditate, talk about your feelings, not have sex, and just relax while not having sex. Travis does not want to fuck you. But he will hold you in all his shirtless glory.

Travis's clients are overwhelmingly female, and he is overwhelmingly not having sex with them. Mostly, his women come to talk. Occassionally, they fall asleep in his arms while he silently questions why he even started doing this, as the blood flow in his arm slowly comes to a halt under the weight of said client.

"It’s really helped people kind of turn off their inner voice, their inner critic, and be more comfortable around people,” he said. “They can actually be present with strangers, and touch their friends and partners in non-sexual ways.” NON-SEXUAL ways. Did you guys catch that part? Non-sexual.

Oh, they're clear as day, lovely Travis. Now come spoon the awkward out of our interns, okay?