Smoking weed could give men boobs. Jealous much, ladies?

Smoking weed could give men boobs. Jealous much, ladies?

VicesDecember 06, 2013

Are you an otherwise healthy young man, of average build and intelligence who has superb pair of supple knockers? Do you go about your day regularly, partaking in work or school, like your Kate Upton-esque rack isn't just positively bursting out of your t-shirt? Do many of your close male friends offer to touch your chest, or ask to lay their weary heads in between your glorious orbs? Then you, dear friend, have moobs. Man boobs.

And you might have them because you smoke weed.

A growing body (yours isn't the only one, ha ha!) of research suggests that THC, the active compound in marijuana we all know and love, might upset the estrogen/testosterone balance in men. THC is thought to tip the scales in favor of estrogen, a hormone whose many functions include mammary growth and development. Therefore, the more weed you smoke, the higher estrogen level you are likely to have, and the more moobs are likely to sprout forth from your voluptuous frame.

In the medical world, man titties are known as "gynecomastia" and men often undergo plastic surgery to remove their moobs. In fact, some doctors report that up to a third of gynecomastia patients are regular weed users.

And although the relationship between dude boobs and THC hasn't been conclusively proven in humans (it's hard to do drug trials on THC, since it's still illegal at the federal level), but it has in animals. Furry little critters exhibit a decrease in testosterone, a reduction in testicular size, and mutated sperm after prolonged exposure to THC.

And who is most susceptible to moobs? Young men going through puberty. By the way, if you are reading this and going through puberty, get lost and do your homework. Pubescent men are most sensitive to changes in hormone levels, and since their bodies are rapidly changing, it's easiest for an increase in estrogen from THC to take effect. So if you smoked a lot in middle school or high school and you're wondering why you look better in a bathing suit than your mom does, there's your answer. 

We know what you're thinking. Cheech and Chong don't have man boobs. Doug Benson kind of does, but he's just fat. But have you seen your favorite stoney celeb shirtless ever? We didn't think so. So gentlemen of Rooster and concerned ladies, you might want to sample something else from the delightful array of illicit substances if beautiful breasts aren't part of your 5-year-plan. Or, fuck it, just get high and get boobs. It's your life.