Somethings you can't learn in college.

Somethings you can't learn in college.

VicesOctober 10, 2012

1. The real world isn’t all that professional
All that lofty talk of ethical standards, organized workflow and professional conduct—in practice, it’s a little less pretty. People are still people, and work is still work. Don’t go postal. Life is imperfect; make the best of it.  

2. Double standards are the norm, not the exception
Rule breaking is what makes the world go around, and “them not you” is the operating paradigm. Fortunately, everyone can participate. Play your part, don’t complain and soon it will be “you not them.”

3. Academic writing is useless—unless you stay in academia
You might write good research papers, but your boss doesn’t give a shit. All bosses want are reports that make sense and get to the point. Take a journalism or marketing course to make sure your writing turns out clear and concise, not full of garbled jargon. 

4. Learn how to work—even the shitty jobs
It’s inevitable that you’ll have to work an in-between job before you find that magical gig you never want to leave—and chances are, it won’t have anything to do with your major. Suck it up. Just because you don’t want to bus tables for the rest of your life, doesn’t mean your co-workers (who also don’t want to) enjoy picking up your slack.   

5. Life skills are key
If you suck at cooking, don’t understand the basics of laundry and haven’t really ever cleaned a bathroom before, now is the time to learn. If you haven’t picked up these essential skills by the time you’re 30, you should probably just give up and move back in with Mom and Dad. When you move out of the dorms, do yourself a favor and shake those bad habits. Future roommates and future flings—and even you—will thank you.