Rooster Magazine's super official spring travel guide

Rooster Magazine's super official spring travel guide

CultureMarch 06, 2020 By Brian Frederick

STAYCATION
Rad places to go less than a few hour’s drive from your couch (if you live in Colorado).

Bristol Brewing Company, Colorado Springs
A former elementary school built in 1916 is where Bristol brews some of the state’s tastiest beers. What’s best is the company barely changed the historic site to accommodate its operations; it’s like drinking in class without the threat of Mean Dean Manning calling home about an expulsion.

The Stanley Live, Estes Park
We live and die by the Jack Nicholson memes on the daily, but what many don’t know is the iconic Stanley Hotel in Estes Park now hosts bands as part of its Stanley Live series. March brings Wildermiss, The Infamous Stringdusters and Built to Spill to where ghosting is encouraged.

Hot Springs Resorts, Colorado.com
The center of Earth isn’t just a home for lizard people, it’s also where liquid hot magma heats up enough to sometimes escape to the surface creating warm mineral springs to soak in. The state has over 30 of these suckers listed and rated for you to choose from over at Colorado.com.
-----

BALLIN' ON A BUDGET
When strapped, get creative.

Flight Hacks
Impulsive with no real direction in life other than you just want to get away? Skyscanner.com is sweeeet. Simply add in your travel dates, input “Everywhere” as a destination, and then shop crazy deals to places you’ve never thought of going.

Room Hacks
When money is most certainly an issue, Google is your friend. Typing in “Airbnb Coupons,” “DoorDash Coupons” or “Lyft Coupons” gets you all kinds of usable offers — sometimes up to 60 percent off and beyond! It may take a bit of digging but the come-up is worth every second. 

Cash Hacks
If you’re traveling overseas, pack an extra bag tight with used popular American brands to resell. Levi’s, Champion, Harley-Davidson and Carhartt all fetch a premium in many foreign countries. Link up with a local thrifter on Instagram beforehand to make the exchange quick and lucrative.
-----

DON'T DO THIS, DO THAT
Worthwhile Colorado replacements for popular Spring Break destinations.

Don’t Las Vegas, Do Blackhawk
Just a short drive west of Denver is Colorado’s twin Sin Cities: Blackhawk and Central City. They’re both majestic getaways with all the raucous blips and blings of fixed slots. It’s a perfect way to donate your entire paycheck to companies already worth billions.

Don’t South Padre Island, Do Netflix
There’s only one personality in all of Texas, so why visit South Padre Island when you can sit at home watching I Am A Killer with your cat? Drink cheap wine and forget showering for days while Boopins Buttigieg purrs and swoons at you. For only $8.99 a month you control your own destiny.

Don’t Cancun, Do Cherry Creek Reservoir
Enjoy the toe-piercing syringes on the beaches of Cancun but can’t afford a flight? Look no further than Aurora’s Cherry Creek Reservoir with all the scary nuances of an Americanized paradise (like McDonald’s!) and all the same gut-bombing properties in its water. Hooray!

 

Don’t Miami Beach, Do South Broadway
Miami Beach is internationally known for its coked-out has-beens and unrequited love of neon colors. But so is Denver’s South Broadway! Find the nearest dive bar and spark up a conversation with the people of yesteryear. Is that guy Pitbull!? His infected stick and poke tattoo of a walrus says: maybe!
-----

GEAR
Never leave home without it.

Nine Lives Wet Phone Fix
Wherever you go this year for a glimmer of fun, you’re bound to be somewhere moist. If the worst happens and you drop an expensive phone in water, rest easy knowing an emergency kit for soaked electronics exists. Simply drop it in the bag and let the moisture devouring desiccants do the rest.
Amazon.com
-----

APPS
You kids have it so easy.

PlanChat
It’s official, group texting is the worst thing to happen since U2 tried giving everyone its album for free. PlanChat, on the other hand, adds in a bit more functionality to make multi-person traveling a breeze. Chat, share photos, make plans and even pay back money owed in one easy to use platform.

Cool Cousin
Craig was your older cousin who bought booze, drove everyone around in his TransAm and taught you how to run from cops. He’s dead now though, so the next best thing is Cool Cousin, the app that selects hip locals from a variety of cities to tell you where all the hot spots are. RIP Craig.

Trusted Housesitters
Couchsurfing for dime bags is so 2010. What you want is a place to stay that comes with dogs to pet. TrustedHousesitters is just that: someone who wants to leave their home in your hands while they’re away. All you do as payment is take care of their cute wittle animals.
-----

IT HAPPENED TO ME (READER SUBMISSION)
This one time in Indonesia ...

"They’d warned me, the Australians. They’d tried to tell me that Bali was not a place to fuck with pot: “No toke is worth goin’a Indonesian prison, mate.”

And yet there I was, on the edge of a pool at 4 a.m., smoking bowls with a stranger. He offered to roll some joints and smoke me out, if we drove his friends home. Which, sounded good. So we took off, ditched the hungover sonsabitches and parked on a beach to finish our sesh. 

That’s when his demeanor changed. That’s when I noticed the badge on his dashboard; when his cold moist hand closed around my wrist and I heard him whisper, “I’m like the DEA in this country and you’re my bitch, Will.”

I’ve never moved so fast, so stoned in my life. I found myself rolling out of the car, spilling onto the street, running away. He chased me for blocks — but I escaped. And promptly fled the country."