Storm Area 51 event killed because it was a “humanitarian crisis” in the making

Storm Area 51 event killed because it was a “humanitarian crisis” in the making

Ain’t nobody clapping alien cheeks anymore

CultureSeptember 18, 2019 By Will Brendza

The infamous “Storm Area 51” event, which morphed into a free EDM festival was unexpectedly cancelled this week, because (apparently) it was a catastrophe in the making.

According to the festival’s organizers it was starting to look like an impending “humanitarian crisis” in the desert: with the amount of people they expected to show, the community realized that gas stations would run out of gas, grocery stores would run out of groceries and the highways would turn into parking lots. People would be stuck, with minimal resources in one of the most unforgiving deserts in America and the liability associated with all that gave people cold feet.

So they killed what had affectionately been dubbed “AlienStock,” announcing, only a week and a half before the September 20th event, that it wasn’t going to happen. That instead, they were going to host a club party in Las Vegas.  

Still, that hasn’t stopped a couple of overly-zealous youtubers from actually attempting to raid the infamous government base, becoming the first Naruto runners to be arrested in connection with the event.

We’ll get to those guys in a minute. But first, a moment of mourning for the event that might have defined a generation if it had only been allowed to blast off like a rocket. Alienstock was the story of the year — it was going to feature a variety of EDM and indie rock artists, it was going to draw between 10,000-30,000 people, it was sure to be manga-heavy and it was undoubtedly going to be a strange and unforgettable experience, something to tell your grandkids stories about.

But it’s not happening anymore. Despite all the international online hype, media coverage and memery, the strange saga of the “Storm Area 51 Event” is ending in more of a fizzle than a bang. Sure, they’re still hosting a Bud-Light sponsored party in Las Vegas, and it will probably be a good time — but it is not the kind of climactic ending that this story deserved.

“Due to the lack of infrastructure, poor planning, risk management and blatant disregard for the safety of the expected 10,000+ AlienStock attendees, we decided to pull the plug on the festival,” the StormArea51 official website states.

The festival organizers placed most of the blame for the event’s scrapping on Connie West, owner of the Little A’Le’Inn (Rachel, Nevada’s only hospitality business). Apparently, Connie had no paper proof of deposits, agreements, permits or anything else and her lack of organization caused the floor to fall out from under the whole festival.

Fucking Connie.

But, it’s hard not to speculate here, that perhaps, just maybe there was also some government pressure involved. This event was no secret, and the government had surely been watching it closely since it was created. Hell, Roberts, the guy who started all this in the first place, was visited and interrogated by FBI agents several weeks ago about the festival.

Is it possible that, foreseeing trouble the government helped punch some holes in the viability of this festival? After all, it's doubtful that all 10,000-30,000 festival goers would have stayed at the festival — surely there would have been more than a few who actually tried to storm the base…

Which, brings us to Govert Sweep and Ties Granzier, the two Swedish youtubers who were apprehended last week, almost three miles inside of the Air Force’s private property that surrounds Area 51.

On September 10, 2019, the Nye County Sheriff's Office responded to the Nevada National Security Site for a report of foreign national trespassers," the Nye County Sheriff's Office said on Facebook.

The Swedes were equipped with cameras, computers and a drone when they were stopped and promptly arrested by police. They were ready to see them aliens and clap some extraterrestrial cheeks — but sadly, they never got their chance.

These are the kinds of people that the government has repeatedly warned against coming to Area 51. They are, honestly, pretty lucky that they were just arrested instead of being shot on sight. After all, the military has authorized use of lethal force for trespassers like Sweep and Granzier.  

Their bail was set at $500 and they were released the very next day. But will they be the last? Were these two the only ones with plans to actually try and infiltrate Area 51?

Likely not. And the coming days will surely prove that.

What’s certain is that the EDM festival, the free event in Rachel, Nevada that might have made it into history books, Alienstock, is no longer happening. If you still want to attend Roberts’ Las Vegas Area 51 celebration party, you can RSVP on their website.

And for all you crazy bastards out there, who might still be planning on storming the military installation, I wish you good luck. May the force be with you.

But remember: pics or it didn’t happen.