Study says lumberjacks are the manliest men. Eat it, Tom Brady.

Study says lumberjacks are the manliest men. Eat it, Tom Brady.

CultureAugust 28, 2013

See that tree outside? It's gonna get chopped the hell down. Why? Because it'll make you a man. Or woman with a healthily balanced endocrine system. That's because chopping trees lumberjack style increases testosterone more than competitive sports or other productive, non-competitive activities, says new study by researchers at UC Santa Barbara. That means you get a bigger rush of testosterone from obliterating foliage than scoring the winning touchdown at the Super Bowl.

The research subjects were the indigenous Tsimane people of Bolivia, who must regularly chop wood for survival. Researchers compared the amount of testosterone that was released in the Tsimane after chopping wood and playing soccer, and found that the lumbermen actually reported feeling "manlier" after killing a tree or five than they did after engaging competitive sports. That's because the wood-choppers had, on average, 17% percent more testosterone coarsing through their veins than the jocks. Of course, the Tsimane being the Tsimane and all, chopping wood is imperative for the survival of their entire village. It's an activity that makes them feel like they're contributing to the well-being of their community, a reaction not typically associated with sports- the purpose of those is, of course, to entertain the community not keep them from dying. Researcher Ben Trumble elaborates,

If you’re better able to pull blood sugar into your muscle tissue, and better able to use that energy, you’ll be able to chop more trees. … If you’re a 50-year-old Tsimane man, for example, you probably have six or more children, and you need to be able to feed them. If you lose the ability to have the acute spikes in testosterone that increase your ability to chop trees – chop longer and chop harder – that would be detrimental to feeding your family.

And you know what more testosterone can do? Make your boner work better! But if you're boner-less, never fret because a small boost in testosterone also increases muscle and bone health, and helps osteoporosis stay the F away for women too. So, strap on some overalls, some plaid, and sprout an imposing beard, because lumberjacking can really put some step...Or just lift weights if that's not your thing; it has the same effect.