Lyft police, bamboo lashings and more stupidity found on the web

Lyft police, bamboo lashings and more stupidity found on the web

CultureDecember 04, 2019

SHOULD HAVE PUT A LIEN ON IT
Heath Bumpous, a Texas charmer, is in a bit of trouble. A day before he was to get married, he robbed a bank, later telling cops he did so because the wedding needed to be paid for somehow. Luckily for Bumpous, taxpayers will foot the bill for honeymoon arrangements.
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ZERO STAR RATING
Police in Rochelle Park, New Jersey, had their jobs made easier when 28-year-old Nicholas Maziot jumped into an awaiting squad car instead of the Lyft he’d called after robbing someone’s home. “It was still cheaper than surge pricing,” Maziot was quoted after being released.
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NEXT WEEK ON MAURY
An Indonesian man who helped write a law against adultery was recently convicted of … committing adultery. Mukhlis (his full name) received 28 lashes from a spliced bamboo cane. He says his next order of business is to make infidelity even more illegal, with a punishment of 32 massages and a mani pedi.
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THREW THE BOOK AT HER
Melinda Sanders-Jones of Charlotte, Michigan, recently turned herself in to authorities after a warrant for her arrest was issued as a result of overdue library books. She’s charged with failure to return rental property, which carries a maximum penalty of 93 days in jail and a $500 fine. Crossing Tammy Swanson Swanson, not even once.