A FUCT up clothing brand and salad frosting top our list of trends to watch for

A FUCT up clothing brand and salad frosting top our list of trends to watch for

CultureAugust 08, 2019

We don't start the trends, we simply keep track of and pass judgment upon them.

AIR POLLUTION BURGERS
This is some mad scientist stuff right here y’all. Solar Foods, a Finish company, has developed a process that takes CO2 from the air, mixes it with some weird electricity and the result is a wheat flour-like substance made up of 50 percent protein. Wanting to start full-scale commercial production of it in 2021, Solar Foods says its meat substitute will not only reduce carbon emissions but also provide nutrition to hungry people around the world. Two birds, one stone. 

FUCT FTW
Any ‘90s outcast remembers the FUCT clothing brand. Big jeans, subversive shirts. But it wasn’t until 2011 that owner Erik Brunetti applied to register the name with the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office — later denied for being “scandalous” and “immoral.” So, he sued. Then, he won. It’s no longer up to the courts to decide what’s “wrong” as it pertains to branding. And for that, FUCT yeah.

HIPPY DIPS
It’s hardly a new fad, however the Japanese practice of Shinrin-yoku (forest bathing) is quickly growing in popularity worldwide — and of course Boulder, Colorado, is in the mix. Along with regularly scheduled tours and a larger event scheduled for early September, the notion of reconnecting with nature (quite literally just sitting in the woods as a means of therapy) is on a roll. Trees > People.
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TEMPORARY TATTIES
If you use social media and attend festivals you’re likely one of the millions being bombarded with promoted ads for Easy.ink — a “realistic semi-permanent tattoo” that appears real but most certainly is not. Cool idea to get script of the word “fearless” in a visible place and then wash it off, but kind of defeats the message. Yeah? Make bad decisions and regret them forever like the rest of us. Posers.

SALAD FROSTING
Hey kids! Santa isn’t real, your parents exist in a loveless marriage, and that “salad frosting” you just ate is really just ranch in a fancy tube! Yes, instead of promoting involved parenting and teaching children to love vegetables, Kraft has expanded its product line to simply trick kids into living healthy. What’s next, quinoa-sicles? 
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PRINCE PARADE
After death, artists lose control. Such is the case with Prince, a master of secrecy, gifted with the internal algorithm of release. Since April 21, 2016, a family of vultures who barely spoke to the artist while he was alive has taken over his property, releasing and parading The Purple One’s things around against his wishes — which were made crystal clear in past interviews. The world wants new music sure, but, the whole thing feels icky.

JNCO RE-RELAUNCH
In 2015, the Chinese company Guotai Litian Group bought licensing rights to bring back the iconic mega-jean brand of the 1990s. But because the clothing was manufactured in China, the products were straight garbage. Now, the original founders are in control of the brand again and recently relaunched a selection of pants and shirts — to the tune of multiple hundreds of dollars! Yike$!

GROSSPRO
We uh … there is … hmm. So there’s a thing out there called the The Cock Cam and … it’s exactly as you’d expect. Take a sex ring, mount a GoPro to it and that’s the concept someone spent time developing. And for $160, you can own something that records “all of your erotic moments at never before seen angles” and then “stores them on your mobile device” to view later. And no one told them this was a terrible idea?!