There's a lot of convincing proof out there claiming Jesus was a stoner
Jesus Christ is the superstar of conservative Christianity, but was also most likely a stoner.
To some, this is clearly evident by his more obvious social cues: an easygoing attitude, always wearing comfortable shoes, owning closets-full of flowing robes, and that impeccable mane of wavy long hippie hair. But, many experts back up those suspicions with factual representation connecting Jesus with cannabis, too.
One of the most telling connections between Jesus and cannabis is the recipe for “holy anointing oil” taken directly from the Bible, possibly containing weed. The literal translation of one ingredient hasn’t yet been solidified, so the herb used in the recipe is widely contested. Though many still believe the ”kaneh-bosm” it calls for directly references cannabis.
One of them is scholar Sula Benet, a Polish etymologist from the Institute of Anthropological Sciences in Warsaw. She was the first to come up with the cannabis connection.
“In the original Hebrew text of the Old Testament there are references to hemp, both as incense, which was an integral part of religious celebration, and as an intoxicant," she says in her 1975 essay titled "Early Diffusion and Folk Uses of Hemp."
As it’s mentioned in the Bible, the healing concoction calls for “nine pounds of ‘kaneh-bosm’ tops, along with cinnamon, myrrh, and other spices.” And while a mixture of this much cannabis with other tasty spices would be a guaranteed good time for most fraternities, the proven medicinal properties of this specific holy anointing oil would have been considered nothing short of miraculous at the time.
In reference to this, BBC quotes Chris Bennet, an expert on the topic, as saying, "In the ancient world, diseases such as epilepsy were attributed to demonic possession.” He goes on to mention, “Jesus and the disciples healed people of such things as skin diseases, eye problems and menstrual problems."
Current medical technology has found glowing health benefits of cannabis for those suffering Parkinson’s disease, seizures and cataracts (and, yeah, even menstrual problems) — nothing short of a current scientific miracle for those with the conditions, too. It’s not such a stretch to believe Jesus, or past healers, used a little bit of cannabis science to perform miracles on the sick as we do today.
There are also religious precedents in cannabis use. It’s widely known that many generations past were using the plant long before reefer madness took over in America. From sacred Hindu texts, dating as far back as 1400 B.C., to early Taoism, of which smoking cannabis was reserved for holy men, it’s not to say leaders then wouldn't have been sharing holy secrets of good health and prosperity amongst themselves — especially given each religion's peaceful and progressive natures.
So the next time a family member drags you out to church, remember, Jesus probably would prefer for you to be stoned on nine pounds of the Holy Spirit, and ask for everyone to be anointed with some B.C.-era healing oil.