Time Travel Thursday: mullet wearing family perma-stuck in 1986
If you ever want to meet Blair McMillan, good luck. He's a hard man to track down these days. That's because he, along with the rest of his heavily-mulleted family, are stuck in 1986, suspended in in time during the pre-internet era. Their Ontario household is devoid of any of the technological luxuries we rely on today; no cell phones, laptops, internet thingys, no Breaking Bad episodes, no stupid 3D printers that print out burritos. They're stuck listening to Def Leppard eight-tracks and watching Labyrinth. In their house, any technology made after 1986 is banned. So, how does one find Blair, or the rest of his 80's clan? You have to go to their house, and hope they're there. If they're not, you have to wait around until they show up. Welcome to 1986, bitches.
This is playing on repeat on VHS.
The McMillans use something called an "encyclopedia" to find answers to their questions. They do their banking in person, not online. They do antiquated activities like listen to the radio, read countless books, and talk to each other, face to face.
They even traveled across the country using those huge, foldable paper maps you only find at gas stations on truck routes in central Texas. Paper, people. P-A-P-E-R.
They even went so far as to move into a house that was built in the 80's because, well, sure. And inside that 80's house, resides the most 80's thing of all: Super Mario Brothers on Nintendo, hooked up to one of those giant shitty TV's (remember those?).
They've traveled back in time to 1986 because their children, Trey, 5 and Denton, 2, were a little too tech-obsessed for their own good. Blair would try to take them outside to play, and they would give him the toddler equivalent of the middle finger by replying that they'd much rather stay inside and play on the family's iPad, thank you very much. Little did they know that their reluctance to interact with real human beings would catapult their entire family back in time 27 years.
We’re parenting our kids the same way we were parented for a year just to see what it’s like,
Blair said. 1986 is the year both Blair and his girlfriend, Morgan, were born.
Even normal hair is banned. Blair rocks a mullet with denim cutoffs and a mustache, and Morgan sports those 80's perm things with Robert Plant mall bangs.
Business in the front, party in the back,
said Blair with a grin. But, although the family's 80's lifestyle has brought them closer together, it's taken a toll on Blair's professional life. He lost a business partner when he insisted that he couldn't email, he could only fax. And if he really needs to get in touch with Morgan in case of an emergency, well,
If something’s going to happen, it’s going to happen,
Blair said with a shrug. The McMillans are stuck this way until April 2014, when they flash back to reality and rejoin the present. In the meantime, here's a video that'll tell you everything you need to know about 1986 so you too, can travel back in time. Why? Because it's goddamn Time Travel Thursday. Watch: