Utah senator declares porn a public health crisis. Wait, what?

Utah senator declares porn a public health crisis. Wait, what?

PoliticsFebruary 01, 2016 By Isabelle Kohn

Polio. Ebola. AIDS. Zika.

Ever heard of these things? They're highly commutable diseases with mortality rates that aren't dicking around.

Porn, on the other hand, is not a public health crisis. It is a thing you do when your roommate is eating crunchy cereal that'll block out the sound your muffled moans, but it's not exactly shortening any life spans.

However, to Utah Senator Todd Weiler, porn is right up there with Ebola and other diseases of mass contagion when it comes to endangering the public. He finds it so threatening, in fact, that he's gone ahead and declared porn a state-wide "public health crisis" in Utah. 

... Right, because there's nothing that'll kill you quicker than the video "Kinky dungeon master makes Tina squirt" except oh, maybe gun violence or prescription drug overdose or malaria.

Ironically, Utah has one of the country's highest porn consumption rates, meaning that Weiler could just be upset that he's surrounded by masturbators. It is pretty hard to get work done when your entire office is YouPorning "Anal Queens Volume XV" we guess.

To prove how much he hates the idea jacking off to moving images, he filed an official resolution, SCR.9, warning the good people of Utah that x-rated material is one of the biggest threats to their lives. Naturally, by filing this resolution, he is also asking the state of Utah to allocate funds from their own pocket to help combat the crushing scourge of hot girl-on-girl action.

The motion wrings its hands over the false claim that porn makes young men more likely to cheat and less likely to settle down and get married. It also states that porn most definitely leads to unhappy marriages, addiction, prostitution and hyper-sexualization of teenagers.

Problem is, none of that is true. While over-consumption of porn can certainly have adverse effects such as addiction and genital sensitization for a small percentage of people, there's zero scientific evidence that it evokes the kind of wide-reaching, societal chaos Weiler's declaration avows it does. Because of this, SCR. 9 has come under much criticism by experts with brains who say his irrational claims are "based on hyperbole and morality, ignoring much of what is known about pornography and its effects."

What is known about porn is that it's about as common as breathing, and it's actually quite healthy. Porn makes up 30 percent of the internet, and over 75 percent of American men and women between ages 18-30 watch porn at least once a month. So, declaring it a "public health crisis" is a little over-zealous if you ask us, especially considering that there are actual public health crises to focus on, like Zika, or the fact that Utah's Mormon church systematically forces underage girls into marriage.

Perhaps Weiler is just upset that his wee-wee is numb to his wifey; a 2014 study in JAMA Psychiatry found that watching porn regularly dulled the response to sexual stimulation over time, meaning for some people, they had to watch more porn to get the same effect. Sounds like more of a personal pubic crisis than a threat to public health, but hey, that's just us.