Very desperate man kidnaps woman just to trick his parents into thinking he was married
Ever been so desperate for a date that you just kind of hid in a bush until someone walked by and then pounced on them with rope and duct tape and carried them over your shoulder like a hunted carcass back to your home?
Then you're not Liu Hung, a wealthy but unlucky-in-love banker in China who yanked an unsuspecting young woman off the streets just to dupe his nagging parents into thinking he had a wife.
Pretty much every time they'd see him, Liu's parents would ask him why he wasn't married.
"I am the only one in my family without a girlfriend or wife, and I was fed up of going home and simply getting a hard time," he told police.
So in a last-ditch effort to impress the parental units, he decided to take matters into his own hands (apparently, he bypassed the thought of the fake girlfriend thought process that included not-kidnap like, you know, mail order brides, prostitutes, and really empathetic female friends.)
But although he was desperate, he wasn't about to be picky. He waited in the bushes of a nearby park and pounced on the first XX-chromosome special to walk past, before tying her hands up with rope and taping her mouth shut. He then carried her home to the city of Daliang in north-eastern China.
The next day, he told her they were going to get married! She was like "......." and he set off to arrange the formalities.
But she wasn't about to marry no scrub, so she used all her survival skills to partially free one of her hands and dial her boyfriend's number using the man's landline.
They boyfriend immediately went to the police, who traced the landline number and arrested Liu as soon as he arrived home with the wedding papers.
Images showing him being pinned to the ground by plain clothes police officers quickly went viral in China, and also in your eyes:
Liu admitted to kidnapping the young woman, but defended himself by saying it was the only way he could get his family off his back.
China, ladies, has a major problem with a shortage of women compared to men because of the country's one child policy. So if you're lamenting the lack of men in your suburban Boulder wonderland, just remember there's always China.