We're 99% sure this is what it's like to have sex with Miley Cyrus

We're 99% sure this is what it's like to have sex with Miley Cyrus

SexOctober 16, 2013

Phase 1: Seduce and proposition

You:

http://rack.3.mshcdn.com/media/ZgkyMDEzLzA4LzEzLzg5LzMwcm9ja2tlbm5lLmEyNzQ4LmdpZgpwCXRodW1iCTg1MHg1OTA-CmUJanBn/de56c5e1/ad9/30-rock-kenneth.jpg

Her: "How big is it?"

http://www.teen.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/miley-cyrus-confused-short-hair-blonde.gif

You: "It's the motion of the ocean, not the size of the boat."

Miley:

http://now-here-this.timeout.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/ItsSoBeautifulCrying_zps67298399.gif

Phase 2: Foreplay

You: "I'm ready for sex."

Miley:

You:

http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lsk9e7oJyL1qaak14.gif

You, five seconds later:

http://www.reactiongifs.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/arousal.gif

Miley:

http://www.reactiongifs.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/oops-pants-off.gif

Phase 3: Doing the damn thing

You:

http://www.reactiongifs.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/body-ready.gif

Miley:

http://postwhoreamerica.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/cantsee.gif

You:

http://tn.loljam.com/14/upload/post/201304/10/9639/3dba753d73d565c81d85e9510b94f593.gif

Just kidding.

Phase 4: Aftermath

You:

Miley: "You...owe me a nut."

http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m7hriyTYwI1rt3fn2.gif

Get it, because she has chipmunk cheeks?