What happens to English majors after they graduate
A South Carolina cop took a foray into haunting minimalist prose for his latest arrest report last week, the Smoking Gun discovered. Although undoubtedly nondescript and useless in its ability to be used in a court of law, the cop's description of the epic bitch-fight between Shaina Leigh Zarko and Brittany Michelle Eisman recalls Ernest Hemingway or James Joyce in its mastery of language.
Sigh. "Like bulls on the stairs to the Aquarius." Eat your heart out, 10th grade English teachers.
The only thing more heartbreaking than this man's beautiful poetry is the forehead on the girl on the left. *Tear.