What types of porn do people watch the most around Christmas?

What types of porn do people watch the most around Christmas?

SexNovember 29, 2016 By Lindsey Kline

Our sex drive doesn’t take holiday vacations. Whether it’s Christmas, New Year’s, or Martin Luther King Jr. Day, we’ll wake up feeling horny. But during the most wholesome of seasons, surrounded by family and exchanging gifts in the name of God, are we still jerking it? According to the PornHub statisticians, during the Christmas season we’re still masturbating, just getting off to more festive filth.

PornHub, the world’s largest Internet porn producer, had its data department put together charts and graphs exposing what people masturbate to the most come Christmas-time.

This first chart reveals which search terms increase in popularity. Topping the list is ‘naughty Santa’s Helper’ with an astounding 2,692 percent increase. While ‘Fucking Dad’s Girlfriend’ follows as a close second?

The graph fascinatingly reveals that bringing extended family members together inspires relevantly-themed porn. Searches like ‘Brother and Step Sister’ and ‘Mother in Law with Son’ increase 546 percent and 288 percent respectively at Christmas time. In addition, as an ode to the bloated feeling we get after a hefty holiday meal, “Overstuffed” saw a significant 155 percent boost in searches.

This next graph focuses on the supremely-seasonal search terms. Appropriately, ‘Christmas,’ ‘Xmas Sex’ and ‘Merry Christmas,’ make the top the 3 searches, while ‘Black Santa’ brings in some diversity at number 4. Dominating the next several search queries are ‘Santa’s Helper,’ ‘Santa Baby,’ ‘Mrs. Clause,’ and ‘Santa Girl.’ Apparently, Christmas overwhelms us with desire to see naughty little ladies in red velvet outfits that are far too skimpy for the North Pole.

This chart reveals the general drop in PornHub traffic on many major holidays. Christmas Eve provides the biggest plunge, with a substantial 43 percent decline in viewers. A few more perverts get back to work by Christmas Day, but traffic is still 26 percent lower than usual. 

This next graphic reveals which countries change their porn-viewing patterns the most during Christmas. The United Kingdom has a bit more respect for holiday family bonding than the US with a 36 percent decline, as opposed to the United States’ 26 percent dip. India gives the least fucks about baby Jesus’ birthday with the largest increase in PornHub traffic on Christmas day at 8 percent.

Focusing only on the U.S., Maine and the District of Columbia were the states that most abstained from sinful self-love on Christmas with a 28 percent decrease from usual traffic. Arizona and Kentucky hardly refrained from their festive fapping with a mere 13 percent decline in traffic.

Looking at devices used to access PornHub on Christmas, a considerable drop occurs in desktop use. Most likely, traveling leaves the PC porn-lovers without a computer to enjoy their wide-screen 1080p pounding, so they must resort to a smartphone to get off.

The holidays can’t quell our horniness. If anything, they only increase our desire to see sexy Santas, erotic elves, and Christmas coitus. But hey, if Santa’s coming, why shouldn’t you?