What would be your idea of a great date? I'm trying to do something special for my girlfriend on our second year anniversary. My girlfriend and I have read your column for a while and I know she really likes what you have to say.
Wow. Well, first of all, I don't really like dates. There is too much social scripting and too many bogus expectations and rules. I like to slug vodka with a guy I like and run around doing cartwheels and go to strip clubs and go to karaoke. But, if I had to choose, I would say something out of the ordinary. Screw going to dinner and a movie—take her and put her in a damn helicopter or something. Go camping. Start a band together. Carry out all of your sexual fantasies—in one night. After all, sharing an amazing, unforgettable experience together is what really makes couples bond. And it seems like you care about this chick, so do something over-the-top that no other guy she’ll ever date could even begin to replicate. If you feel compelled to buy her something, don’t buy her something typical like a necklace or flowers. Get her concert tickets, or a cat. Doing out of the ordinary things will make her feel like you're thoughtful and appreciative of her—and she’ll get super horny about it.