Who needs friends when you could have this emotion-reading car?
Friends! Ha! Who needs 'em? Can you hop on your "friends" and tell them to take you to the grocery store at the leisurely pace of 55 mph? Can they help you move without complaining like a little bitch the whole time? Can they read your emotional cues and tell you, based on how you're feeling, where you should drive to? Pfft, not in this century.
But Toyota's FV2 can. This wave-of-the-future automobile is programmed not only to be your transportation device, but also to listen to your stupid college stories, sympathize with you about getting dumped, and take you to Wendy's when you feel like cry-eating. That's right, the FV2 is designed to be your new best friend. Or, as Toyota puts it, it's designed to "forge stronger physical and emotional connections with its owner." Right, okay, so best friends with benefits.
The FV2, which is meant for one person and one person only, has technology onboard that allows it to develop a relationship of "trust and understanding" with its owner, similar to that unbreakable bond between rider and horse. For example, it uses voice and image recognition to sense the driver's mood. Then, based on that mood, it'll check its own driving history to suggest places to go based on that mood. If you were feeling sad, and you went to DQ to hit up a nice chicken finger and fries basket once, the FV2 will suggest that next time you're sad, you go back there again. So that's why you've been getting fat...
The car will also change its exterior color to match your mood as well. So if you're angry, it'll turn red, signaling other people to stay the fuck away from you because you don't need them you already have a car for a best friend.
Did we mention there's no sitting down inside the FV2? Drivers operate it by standing up, and gently leaning in the direction they want to go. Because the car and driver share a bond that you wouldn't understand so don't even try, the car senses the direction of the lean and just goes with it. Unlike your friend Jackie, who always has to do things her way.
Like your social life (or probably penis if you're thinking of buying this), your beloved FV2 doesn't exist just yet. But, it'll debut at Japan's annual Tokyo Motor Show next month, which means that sometime within the next years, you'll be able to reach your goal of replacing all human interaction with machinery. Sounds great!