Why is Android making sexting so hard?

Why is Android making sexting so hard?

CultureDecember 03, 2013

"Do u want to have braless panty sex later?" It's a phrase in everyone's sext lexicon, one used time and time again to entice our sexting partners.

But thanks to Android's new operating system, KitKat, you'll never be able to drunkenly type that phrase to your ex at 4:15AM again. That's because KitKat has banned nearly every word that has to do with sex, from "sex" itself, to "intercourse," "coitus," lovemaking," and "screwing." Try to type one of those unholy words into your new Android and prepare to be assaulted by a barrage of inane suggestions. Did you say "sex?" You probably meant "ace." Because you totally meant "I want to ace you later." What is your partner, a test?

But Android didn't stop there; they've also banned other essential sexting words like "braless," "panty," "butt," "condom," and "uterus." Android event went so far to make sure that your dirty mind stays out of their operating system, that they've identified and banned a few key pornographic sub genres and fetishistically obscure medial terms like "gonadotrophia" and "irrumination." Even onomatopoeias that could be considered sexual, like "thud" are off limits. How will we ever get laid if we can't text "I wanna thud your uterus with my butt during irrumination?"

Confusingly, "Nazi" and "bong" are A-O.K. with Android.

"Come see my Nazi bong" = fine. "Let's make love" = nope, nope, and nope.

You can disable the sex word filter in the keyboard settings, but honestly, we like the challenge of having to sext everyone we know using code words that skirt the watchful eye of Android's moral police. "Can't wait to fuck you later" will become "Can't wait to then you layer," but it'll no doubt have the same arousing effect.