Dear god why is there a dildo drone?

Dear god why is there a dildo drone?

SexMarch 28, 2017 By Isabelle Kohn

Ladies, ladies, ladies.

Can we all agree that the most thrilling part of sex is having a cylindrical object prod your taint and general lower body as it blindly searches for a hole? It's even better if that object is both inanimate and attached to an wannabe airplane, am I right?

I am, indisputably so. That's why I'd like to introduce you to something that is and does all those things. It's the sex toy of the future, the Dildo Drone. 

"Why does this exist?" you scream, fists angrily shaking at the cursed god who made you. "WHY IS THERE A DILDO DRONE?"

Hush, little baby. It's only an art project.

The flying fucker is the freaky brainchild of Michael Krivicka, but, at this point, it only exists in prototype form (curiously, there's not a lot of demand for something that swoops down from the heavens into your vagina). As he told Dazed Digital: “I like being the guy who comes up with these fantasy products. But that is as far as I want to take it.”

So many people's buttholes just breathed a collective sigh of relief.

But, alas, there are still reasons for its existence, however trivial said existence may be.

For one, people need a sex toy that does the work for them. Dildo-ing yourself is an ancient art, but this is 2017. It's time the sex toy industry caters to you so you can sit back, relax, and use your hands for something useful, like rapidly Googling, "Help! There is a drone stuck in me!" or "I have student loan debt, how do I fake my own death?"

More importantly, drones fucking suck. "Fuck drones!" is what everyone always says. Now, you literally can.

Are you on board yet? Either way, titillate yourself by watching this thoroughly NSFW commercial for the Dildo Drone. If you're still feeling randy after that, check out Krivicka's Dildo Selfie Stick, the ultimate in self-gratification.