Wife distracts homeowner by swimming nude as her husband burglarizes home. Today was a good day.

Wife distracts homeowner by swimming nude as her husband burglarizes home. Today was a good day.

VicesJuly 15, 2013

If we're going to get robbed, this is how we want it to go down. A 54 year-old man from Tennessee claims a woman swam nude in his pool for about 20 minutes while her husband burglarized his home. The couple allegedly stole $1,195 worth of items from the home, including a handgun, jewelry and medication. 

Via Crossville Chronicle: The woman allegedly asked if she could swim nude, which the victim said was alright with him. As the victim looked on, the woman allegedly swam for 20 minutes before drying off and leaving. "I escorted her outside and invited her to church, but she said she didn't have time for that," the victim told WKRN. After she left, the victim realized his home had been burglarized. The woman's husband allegedly stole $1,195 worth of items from the home, including a handgun, jewelry and medication. Police have launched an investigation into the incident. "The two suspects have been identified, but have not been arrested," WKRN reports.

Wait, the dude invited her to church? Last time we checked, ogling a naked, married woman for over 20 minutes while you try to get an erection isn't something the big man upstairs approves of. On the other hand, the married couple had a pretty good plan. Expect they broke first rule of B&E. Don't rob someone who knows you live down the street. Fucking morons.