Women avoid using condoms just as much as men
As a woman, I take a certain amount of offense to hook-ups who insist on condom use. Call me irrational or call me irresponsible, but I know I’m not alone.
Men have always been blamed for their lack of sexual precaution. Countless sources warn of the millions of excuses men will make to avoid wrapping their willies. However, new research indicates that women use manipulative strategies to resist using condoms just as much as men.
According to the study published in The Journal of Sex Research, almost half of the 235 young women surveyed admitted to using seduction, deception, and/or sabotage to ensure no condom comes near their sexual encounters.
Among the strategies the women confessed to: downplaying the risks, using “seduction tactics” to get their partner so hot and bothered that he’d give in to her pleas for unprotected sex, manipulatively withholding sex, or even destroying the condom.
The reasons they gave for using this bag of tricks are remarkably similar to men’s usual excuses. They say sex doesn’t feel as pleasurable with a rubber on, or say they’re worried their partner couldn’t keep it up with a condom suffocating his stiffie.
It seems loss of sensation has always been the biggest factor for women who hate condoms. In a sex survey conducted by Psychology Today, hundreds of women complained about rubbers numbing the heavenly feeling of getting fucked.
“It feels like he's wrapped his penis in plastic wrap,” says one woman.
“Without a condom, every sensation is a little more intense and a little warmer,” says another.
“I enjoy feeling him inside me, uncovered. Also, him ejaculating inside of me is a serious turn on,” says one more.
Society has always put the burden of safe sex on women. We’re taught that we’re responsible for any children produced. We’re told to fear men’s “stealthing,” where they rip the condom off mid-bone without our permission. There’s a consensus that men are out to get us with their jizz and their genital herpes, and we must never lower our defenses.
Defenses be damned. Beyond hating the way condoms feel, we also hate the way they taste and hate the way they smell. We hate the awkwardness of stopping to put a condom on, and the way it can kill the moment.
Admittedly, I also feel mildly insulted when a man insists on using a condom. I’m a high-caliber lady — of course I don’t have any STIs.
Research shows many men follow my same flawed sort of logic. Men are less likely to wear condoms with women they find more attractive, because they believe those hotties are less likely to give them some kind of STD. For some reason, they simply assume attractive women are “cleaner” than unattractive women.
Some studies say the stigma surrounding rubbers is totally unfounded. “Men and women enjoy sex just as much with condoms as they do without,” a study in the Journal of Sexual Medicine found.
Maybe it’s true. Maybe the idea that a love glove can reduce pleasure is just an urban legend.
But it doesn’t eliminate my wounded pride when my partner whips out a condom. When I offer full access to my superior pussy, I expect full access to your penis in return.
It’s a petty perspective, of course. Perhaps I’m just lashing out against the idea that as a lady, I’m assumed to be the guardian of safe sex.
Men and women should be equally responsible for safe sex. And now that we can know ladies and fellas avoid condoms in the same way, perhaps we can recognize it in one another, and call each other out on our bullshit. Now that’s gender equality.