Young men reveal what it’s like to get a vasectomy in your 20s
Paul was 27 years old when he got a vasectomy. Unlike the vast majority of the 500,000 men in the U.S. who get snipped every year, Paul was single and had no children.
“I had a few relationships in my late teens early twenties and found that I could never relax when having sex, even when using contraception. I always worried that I'd be a father, and had massive anxiety after sex,” Paul says.
Then, he caught his girlfriend of 4 years throwing her contraceptive pill down the sink.
“It was then that it hit me: as a man I have almost no control over my reproductive choices shy of a vasectomy,” he says. “Condoms fail too much for my comfort. And if your partner decides to change her mind on their method of birth control they don't even have to tell you.”
Many young men have come to the same conclusion as Paul, and decided to take contraception into their own hands. Their experiences differ drastically, but there’s an overarching theme among them: getting the procedure is difficult — not because they struggle to accept the idea of never having kids — but because their doctors, family, partners, friends, strangers and the culture at large rail against them.
However, the loss of time, money, hobbies and career goals is enough to convince even teens and twenty-somethings that children aren’t worth their weight in piss-soaked diapers. We spoke with several men who got vasectomies at an early age about why they did it, how they did it, and if they’d recommend it for others.
GOODBYE TIME & MONEY
"I grew up in poverty and knew that I didn't want to accidentally get a girl pregnant and then spend the rest of my life scraping by. I also knew that I just didn't want to have the responsibility of raising a child. I guess I'm a bit selfish in that regard but you only get one life.
"Spending 18+ years catering to the needs of another and setting your own life on the back burner doesn't sound like a good time to me especially when there's so much in this world to do and see." — Mathew, vasectomy at 19
"Having children is one of those things that will grow to suck up all the money and all the time that you have. Americans lead child-focused families. You’ll give all you can and more.
I have expensive hobbies. I’ve biked across america. I have a pilot’s license. It all boils down to financials. If I don't have kids, I can work more and have more career growth. I don’t want to have to check out at 28." — Mike, vasectomy at 26
"My brother used to be a nationally ranked kite surfer, but he’s only been a handful of times since my niece was born. Many friends have sold project cars or motorbikes etc since having kids. It's almost like they lose their identity when they have a child. I regularly hear 'I wish I could still still travel/have a fun car/ride a motorcycle again' from these friends." — Paul, vasectomy at 27
"Took a few months to find a doctor that would do it. One, after refusing, referred me to a psychologist because there must be something very wrong with me." — Paul
"I got mine done at Planned Parenthood and they were absolutely fantastic. Planned parenthood tends to be more progressive and trusts patients to know what they want. It cost $175 and I had to cross state lines, but that’s a small price to pay for having my freedom and doing what I can to stem the uncontrolled breeding in the first world." — Mac, vasectomy at 23
"The procedure was super cheap. I only paid $20. I found a Reddit community called “child free” that has a list of doctors who are willing to do vasectomies on young people who aren’t married and don’t have children. I went in knowing he was more willing than most doctors to do the procedure." — Mike
"My family was pretty unhappy with me, which is strange because I have 3 older siblings who each have kids. They all have this idea that it’s my responsibility to carry on the family line.
My mom had half a mind to call the clinic and complain to the doctor, saying that sterilizing a 23-year-old is irresponsible." — Mac
"My brother's mother in law has somehow got in her mind that as I'm child free I must want to hurt/maim/murder any and every child, so she does her best to keep my niece away from me." — Paul
"Most of my family doesn’t know and I don’t intend to tell them. I don’t think my mom would appreciate it. I haven’t broached the subject with her but I can imagine she wouldn’t like giving up on the idea of grandchildren." — Mike
"When I was younger and people found out that I had a vasectomy, most of them would be incredulous that someone so young would have such a serious operation done let alone find a doctor willing to operate. They'd tell me I'd regret it or try to instill doubt by asking 'what if you change your mind?' I'd patiently respond that it wasn't a spur of the moment decision and I knew what I was getting into.
On the other side, there were people who admired me for being able to make such a heavy decision and follow through with it. Those people were more apt to engage in an actual conversation about my decision, the procedure, and life choice in general." — Mathew
"Strangers are the ones that are the most rude, the presumption is you’ll change your mind because you’re still young." — Mac
"Someone from work found out and then the whole office knew. I have to justify my decision not to have a child, but no one ever seems to have to justify a decision to have one... that always gets to me. Random people who don't know me think that it's ok to insult me and tell me I'll die alone." — Paul
"It depends on the young man, where they're at in life, what they want out of life, etc. If they have a good head on their shoulders, aren't prone to rash decisions, and genuinely know in their heart of hearts that willingly becoming sterile is something they need to do to maximize their enjoyment in life, then yes, absolutely. About 8-9 months after being confirmed sterile, a girl that I had sex with went and had sex with another guy. A few months after that she claimed to be pregnant. Being sterile definitely helped me in that situation." — Mathew
"Would I recommend it. Yes. I definitely would. But only if you're sure you don't want kids of course.
The best upside is the sex. Knowing that after I cum I have nothing to worry about. It has made my sex amazing. No stress. No 'what if she is pregnant' and best of all no condoms. Obviously a vasectomy doesn't stop STI's so only with a trusted partner after getting tested!" — Paul