Hell yes it gets you high, this ain't no instant-Yahoo bullshit. It even comes with a little contraption that catapults it into your face for you.
When French confectioner Dominique Persoone was tasked with catering a party for the Rolling Stones, he decided he wanted to end the meal with something special. And, being well aware of the Stone's proclivity for certain powdery Columbian exports, he decided to create a dessert course that the band could truly appreciate: snortable chocolate.
And! To augment the inhalation of the chocolate coke, he invented a funny little contraption that literally catapults it into your face for you.
Oh, our aching perforated septums!
The snortable cocoa-caine / nose catapult pair turned out to be a huge hit (or shall we say bump?); mostly because people love putting stuff up their noses and it actually does offer a subtle, yet comfortably legal high.
In 2010, Persoone brought his chocolate to the International Chef’s Congress in New York. One person who sniffed it described it as such: “At first my head spun a little and my body seemed to wonder what was going on. I did get a tiny buzz, but was mostly filled with the aroma of chocolate in my dizzy head.”
But, it's not just pastry chefs with frilly last names that are doing this; the snortable cacao craze has now hit clubs and music festivals all over the world as it makes a concerted effort to compete with cocaine and ketamine for party drug status.
In fact, cacao use is becoming so widespread that there’s now an alcohol-free monthly party in Berlin called Lucid that serves the stuff raw. Party goers take it during a meditation ceremony before dancing for six hours.
It's even coming stateside—early arrival attendees at Lightning in a Bottle in LA will be greeted with a cacao ceremony to energize them for the night ahead. And all across the country, raw cacao drinks and pills are showing up behind the bar in clubs to fuck people up legally.
Cacao users report a rush of energy, but not in that amphetamine-like way that makes you all twitchy and weird. Instead, cacao gives you a nice little serotonin and endorphin boost to the brain, while the magnesium reportedly releases tension in the body.
According to a recent study from the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition, “Raw cacao is also chock-full of flavanols that increase blood circulation and stimulate brain power, according to a recent study from the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition.”
Great, so it's basically healthy cocaine. Sign us up!
The cocaine imposter is now so popular that people are turning it to make a profit, trying to hustle their ways out of the hood. One woman who calls herself Watermelon (a very nice Jolly Rancher flavor, indeed) has even been selling the chocolate nose candy in her Vancouver shop for two bucks a bump. She told the Huffington Post that snorting chocolate—which, we might add, is available in raspberry or ginger-mint flavor—is one of the finer ways of consuming it.
“The chocolate goes up your nose and settles into your sinuses and olfactory where most of your tasting happens,” said Watermelon, who is also a burlesque performer, expert hula-hooper, and marijuana chef, so she's totally qualified to make statements like that. “The tool never actually touches the nostril, but rather distributes the powder through the air and into the nose.”
Of course, if you're wondering why you wouldn't just eat chocolate using the tried-and-true oral route ask yourself this: why do silly straws exist?
To make drinking virgin margaritas more fun. Clearly.
Snortable chocolate = pointless= fun = YOLO = life. So, there you go. Live a little … but don't forget to kill a few brain cells with chocolate in the process.
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