But bro thats like so harsh on our mellow…

Today, a federal appeals court ruled that snowboarders are officially not being discriminated against by Alta Ski Area in Utah. The ski resort has never allowed snowboarders to use the mountain, and following this ruling, will continue to keep those super-lame snowboarders out for good.

Back in the early days of snowboarding it was extremely common for ski resorts to ban it. Now that it’s not longer the early 1970s, the practice of banning snowboarding is extremely rare.

However, no matter how far we’ve come since then, there remains three ski resorts in the United States that ban people from going down the mountain sideways instead of forwards. They are: Mad River Glenn in Vermont, Deer Valley in Park City Utah, and Alta Ski Area — also in Utah.

So how do these bans still exist today? Well, the bans are enforceable at Mad River Glenn and Deer Valley because the resorts are privately owned and the ski resorts are private property. Alta is the exception to this because Alta Ski Area leases its land from the U.S. Forest Service.

This led a group of snowboarders going by the name 'Wasatch Equality' to sue the ski area. Its argument was that since the ski area is federally owned land, all people are entitled to use it. The group argued that snowboarding at Alta should be protected under the equal protection clause of the fourteenth amendment and that they were being unfairly discriminated against. However, the fourteenth amendment protects against real discrimination based on things like gender, religion, race, and sexuality. It definitely does not protect against discrimination based on your preferred method to glide down a snowy hill. So, its not surprise that the snowboarders were laughed out of court and unanimously lost their appeal.

In fact, this case was originally dismissed by a judge in Utah back in 2014, but the group of snowboarders filling the lawsuit appealed the ruling. Today, their case was once again struck down by the U.S. Court of Appeals. The court ruled that since Alta leases the land from the federal government, then Alta has the right to determine how they would like to use the land and impose whatever restrictions they choose.

So snowboarding will not be coming to Alta anytime soon. Bummer, man.

What this case doesn't address is why the group of snowboarders wanted to gain access to a douchey "skiers rule" club in the first place. The place sounds awful. But as everyone already knows, skiing and snowboarding is dumb in the first place.