For some reason, there's a new trend out there where food industry workers think it's cool to fuck with food and then post photos of it on Instagram, Facebook or Twitter (Recently, a Taco Bell employee posted a photo to Facebook of him licking a stack of taco shells.) Let's set the record straight, it's not. Every customer understands the vulnerability of their food when they order it at a restaurant, fast food joint or any place where they are trusting it won't be spit on, peed on or rubbed on with any type of object. 

We agree that customer can be dickheads and deservedly you should have your way with their food. But many of these "pranks" involve defiling random food that will end up in a random customers mouth. More specifically, our mouths. And we don't like having some guy put his penis on our food as was the case at a Subway sandwich shop this last week. 

Ian Jett and Cameron Boggs had the genius idea to take incrimating photos of themselves rubbing their penises on foot-long bread and freezing their urine at work and then making the brilliatn decision of posting them to Instagram and Twitter under their account name "weedpriest". As you might have guessed, the mensa-society rejects included their names in the captions of the photos, which inevitably allowed Subway to track them down and fire them. 

When questioned about the incident, Ian had this to say to Huffington Post: 

"I would never do that at work — it was at home," he said. "This isn't something I'd ever do at Subway. It was totally a joke."

So let us get this straight: you rubbed your penis on the bread that you were about to eat? That shit cray.  

Of course, Subway released a public statement saying that placing one's genitalia on the sandwiches is not their policy and the two were immediately fired. Thank goodness they clarified their penis policy for us. 

Despite the controversy, the incident did spur talks about a possible $3 three-inch promotional day down the line.