Colorado EDM DJ Shank Aaron, tackles life advice, delivering insights beyond his button-pushing expertise.

With DIA announcing their new outdoor music venue, will we be seeing any dubstep shows at the Airport?

I really hope not. Knowing how people feel about bass music in general, if there were going to be a dubstep show at DIA it wouldn’t be at the nice outdoor space, It would be a bunch of riddim locals doing a pop up at the end of the A Terminal in the Frontier Airlines basement section or as most know it the “Ghetto of DIA.” I don’t know why they are trying to do shows at DIA. It’s already the farthest, most inconvenient location in the metro area. DIA seems like some sort of punishment from the gods in retaliation for mistakes made by our forefathers. Why else would it be so far away? When you need to catch a flight it starts with a treacherous drive down I-70 where there are only two types of people on the road. 1: Uber drivers going 45 mph in the passing lane and 2:  Nurses in Altimas who are late to work in Aurora, going Mach Jesus in the right lanes. If you survive this mayhem, you are rewarded with a Mad Max: Fury Road style straightway through the desert, also known as Peña Blvd. Only instead of gas-crazed marauders, you have something far more frightening….Colorado Highway Patrol. Surrounding Peña is equally as scary: Green Valley Ranch. The name sounds like some sort of salad dressing, but instead is a town that time has forgotten. Legend has it that it was originally colonized by weary travelers who missed their flights, and their lives were so ruined by Frontier Airlines bag policies that they just gave up and decided to settle the area around DIA and what we call Green Valley Ranch today. The only time people move there now is when their car breaks down on the way to the airport because it’s cheaper to just get an apartment in GVR than an Uber back to Denver.  

Why is there no good pizza in Colorado?   

There is a simple and a complex answer to this. The simple answer is that Colorado has always been a health conscious, fitness forward state, and despite the fact that a slice of pizza literally is a food pyramid shape, most agree that Benny Blanco’s is not part of a balanced breakfast. In a place where gluten is basically a felony, people don’t talk about pizza except late night hushed circles away from the all-seeing eyes of social media. People don’t want to brag about where the decent pizza is for the same reason they don’t want to complain about the overwhelming amount of mids pizza in Colorado, because they don’t want to even admit that they are eating it. Well, guess what? Admitting there is a problem is the first step to recovery. You can pretend all you want that carbs are the enemy, but there is a reason that Domino’s delivery is a 2-hour wait at 11:30 pm. As a society, we need to just admit that pizza is bad for you but we eat it anyway. And after we can finally re-normalize pizza, we can get back to complaining about it again, and that’s how you eventually get good pizza in Colorado: by creating a toxic foodie social media culture that shits on everything and the cream is able to rise to the crop. Instead, what we have now is a bunch of mids pizza spots staying open in the same way your crazy ex who won’t go to therapy is still thriving. And that’s because once you find yourself depressed and alone in your apartment, they both still get that late night booty call.