Because the Internet is a vast archive of ridiculous shit …

Because the Internet is a vast archive of ridiculous shit …

"The seat stays up in my house. Up."

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"You told her, didn't you? You're going to regret that …"

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"I know where he hides his cash."

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"You really fucked that one up, Janice."

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"Watching my Xbox avatar battle high-level Orcs really gets me going."

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"I hear Greg's wife left him for a black guy. He might not be promotional material right now."

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"I've slept with Charlie Sheen, too."

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"He's probably going to prison for a very long time because of you."

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"Sandra can't have kids."

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"I watched you dance last night …"

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"Your mother left us because of you."

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"I just signed up for Grindr."

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"She doesn't want you because you're a failure Jon. You've always been a failure."