Penniless pro-tips to make you forget you have -$40 in your bank account right now.

Penniless pro-tips to make you forget you have -$40 in your bank account right now.

1. Homemade microwave

Plug an iron in, flip it upside down, and place your food on the hot surface. Grab a hair dryer, set it to high, aim it at the food on the iron. You’ll be burning the roof of your mouth with mac and cheese in no time.
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2. Student loan debt speakers

Empty out two gallon milk containers. Cut the very bottoms off both. Cut a hole in the side of each container. Grab the cardboard tube from an empty paper towel roll. Cut a spot for your phone in it. Place one side of the tube in one of the container holes, and the other in the … other. Place your phone in the slot of the paper towel roll. Blast your favorite Baja Men song.
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3. Human bank

Need to save? Literally give your money to someone else (that you trust, duh). Cash your checks, hand your friend the cash, and beg them to save it so you can afford three carrots later on down the line.
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4. Glamorous homelessness

If you’re like 99.9 percent of us and can’t afford your stupid rent, break your lease and become a professional house sitter or an au pair (glorified nanny). People will literally pay you to live in their homes, not the other way around.
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5. Extremely poor world traveller

Looking to travel, but can’t afford to travel across the street? Look into work-stay programs like WorkAway or Help Stay. These are programs that exchange housing, anywhere in the world, for meager work. All you need to pay for is airfare, but with the right program, you can easily work that off.