They're not about to let you leave the house wearing that …
Having roommates nowadays is pretty much the only way to afford perpetual skyrocketing housing costs. After years of living strictly with male roommates, I made the switch moving in with two females and now I can never go back. Here’s why:
A woman’s touch just makes a place better:
Let’s be honest, just about everything is better with a woman’s touch, and communal living spaces are no different. The aesthetic of an all-male apartment usually ends up looking like a cross between a thrift store and a garbage can. There are end tables from three different living room sets, mismatched and embarrassing posters (from that roommate who is still awkwardly loyal to Incubus) lining all the walls and hallways with push-pins and that yellow sticky stuff. While an all-guys apartment is usually pretty ok with having a LeBron James poster directly in front of the toilet to make direct eye-contact with house guests, women tend to prefer a more mature, streamlined aesthetic around the house.
We’re not saying girls are cleaner. Oh, no, my friend. About that you are mistaken. We’re just saying their understanding of the word “credenza,” their propensity for decorative pillows, and their ultra-endearing knowledge of reed diffusers, makes an apartment feel less like the worst Siberian gulag and more like a home.
They’ll let you know what not to wear even if it shatters your confidence irreparably:
It’s not a real secret that most guys have absolutely no idea how to dress. Aeropostale is proof of this very fact. Men still wear cargo shorts, their jeans are always a size too big, and deep inside of 10 percent of their dresser drawers is a puka shell necklace. FACT. While you’re still waffling on whether or not that shirt you bought offline on a whim is too beige and somehow futuristic, the ladies will let you know straight-up, 100 percent, "don’t even think about leaving the house in that thing."
Not to mention, they won’t judge you and bust your balls like the fellas for wondering if you could pull-off a pompadour, which you can’t. It’s ok. We’re all premature balding a little here. But with female roommates, a dude’s outfit game, hair and swag can only improve.
They buy the best skin care products we probably need and secretly love:
An actual bottle of conditioner: check. Apricot scrub: check. Anti-frizz serum: holy shit. Who doesn’t love a Lava Mask? Not to mention, Body Silk beats using meathead roomie Brad’s pubey bottle of Black Label AXE Rogue Metal Phoenix and subsequently smelling like John Cena.
Plus, being the token man of the house, you're the unlikely culprit behind the rapidly dwindling supply of caviar facial moisturizer, so when fingers start pointing, your female roommates are much more likely to blame each other for stealing their beauty products than you. Pass 'Go' and collect $200.
Nights in with female roommates are like … actually relaxing:
Living with a female roommate(s) can teach a guy a thing or two about how to relax. While a bro down with the male roomies at the homestead over brews and football is all well and good, staying in, wearing an amalgam of the coziest things you own, putting on a mask and binge-watching Dexter over a bottle of cab sav is some next-level leisure for any guy (whether they’re willing to admit it or not).
They can smell the ‘crazy’ on a new GF with 99 percent accuracy:
Beyond the female intuition cliché, it’s fairly accurate to say that women are far better than men at sensing ‘crazy’ on a woman. Dudes were seemingly born without this keen sense of judgement to allow them to relentlessly and unwittingly spread their seed like a biblical plague.
Say you’ve been smitten with a girl for a few weeks and you decide to bring her over one night. Whereas your male roommates stop at adjectives like “nice” or “hot,” failing when you really need them, it’ll take the female roommate(s) a handful of minutes to straight Mentalist profile the young lady, and 9 times out of 10 they’ll be completely spot-on. This will save you from that awkward crazy ex-girlfriend Fatal Attraction bunny rabbit scene down the road …
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