Good conversation consists of talking with someone, not at them …

Feeling anxious when talking to people at a party or event? Good conversation consists of talking with someone, not at them.

1. Genuinely Give a Shit

Conversational anxiety will always exist until you genuinely care for what the other person knows and believes.

2. Find Common Ground

Ask questions to find out what common interests you both share. Once you share an interest, offer a balance of perspective and inquisitiveness toward the topic.

3. Learn About Them

Everyone has a unique story. Approach the conversation with an open and docile mind for learning what knowledge this person might bestow.

4. Listen Up

Face it, everyone’s favorite topic is themselves. Listening — opposed to waiting to speak or play devil’s advocate — creates a comfortable environment for a person to talk more than they normally would.

5. Don’t Force It

Not everyone likes talking. Don’t waste your energy trying to crack the shell of a nut when there are plenty of individuals willing to be friendly. It will leave a bad taste in your mouth for talking to people the rest of the night.