You weren’t born with much, so get the most from it with these four steps to increasing your brain capacity.

You weren’t born with much, so get the most from it with these four steps to increasing brain capacity:


Put that large organ of soft nervous tissue resting between your oversized ears to use other than by simply absorbing the bad decisions of your weekend. Challenge your brain by learning a new task, activity or skill. And once you’ve mastered that skill, learn another skill. You see, your brain works like a disappointing ex in the bedroom — once it gets good at something, it stops working hard. It no longer expends resources and eventually produces less dopamine, which is closely connected with increase in intelligence. Whether it’s chess, Sudoku or BDSM for beginners, push your brain to learn new skills each week and you’ll invariably see cognitive improvements.


Some would say being “smart” requires thinking at a higher level — and that doesn’t mean dabbing on the daily. We’re talking about expansive observation. An innate ability to ask more questions when random events or ideas occur, attempting to find correlations that you’d otherwise take for granted. Look at outliers that could have influenced a scenario. Did your boss fire you because you urinated in the office koi pond during the Christmas party … or was the boss just angry that his wife started a vegan diet forbidding fish? Small connections will begin to appear. Eventually, you’ll develop a habit of thinking deeper when analyzing. And sooner or later, you’ll be that asshole at the art show interjecting annoyingly obscure yet deep comments about shitty art.


It’s called the Mozart Effect and it justifies everything you’ve lived for. Essentially, music activates the entire brain, igniting the neurons and generating a natural energy that engages a person in the task at hand. Studies have shown that just by listening to music when studying for a test increased the respondents’ tests scores by double digits. Music also relaxes the mind and body allowing you to sharpen your focus. Luckily for you, classical music isn’t the only genre that allows this phenomenon to occur. Any type of music with a steady beat and few lyrics successfully triggers the Mozart Effect. Spank our asses and call us Charlie, there is a God.


Don’t worry, your frequent trips to the bathroom for Clash of Clans should suffice for stimulating your delicate brain. Video and app games both improve cognitive ability, since they cause you to be highly interactive with logic, quick response and first-player interactions, all stimulating the brain. Scientists explained this Dungeon and Dragons phenomena when they noticed that the brains of game players were consuming less glucose during high-intensity gaming experiences, signaling that the brain was learning or becoming more proficient. This holds true for logic and strategy games as well, as studies showed that Tetris led to more efficient brain activity. So what are you waiting for? Put on your sweatpants, order pizza, fire up the console and begin training your brain like a true badass.


Eat your way to a better brain.

Dark Chocolate

Eat it. Love it. Rub it on your body. Do what you must, but eat dark chocolate. High in cacao, dark chocolate delivers flavanols that dilate blood vessels, bringing more oxygen to the brain for cognitive function. Furthermore, cacao contains 15 times more antioxidants than blueberries. 



High in nitrates, beets increase blood flow to the brain, particularly the frontal lobe where you develop those inane thoughts on why you cry during Subway commercials. Nonetheless, beets dilate the blood vessels and increase vascular function. 


Coconut Oil

The brain is 60 percent fat. Eating foods with moderate amounts of saturated fat like coconut oil help to increase good cholesterol and control weight loss. It’s also anti-inflammatory and has been linked to preventing certain brain disorders, like your Aunt Cathy’s addiction to eating toilet paper.  



The spice that gives curry its coloring contains a special ingredient called curcumin, which research has shown to boost memory and stimulate neurogenesis, the process of creating new brain cells. And you need all you can get.


Chia Seeds

Whether for your brain or not, chia seeds should be consumed in general to increase your overall health. Luckily for your brain, chia seeds are high in protein, rich in Omega 3s, aid in hydrating the body and regulate blood sugar, all key variables in brain function.