France has a lot of amazing exports — champagne, cheese and … Robert deNiro?
But, their best offering has to be Daft Punk. Not only do Daft Punk smell marginally better than French cheese, but they're also one of the world's most popular and beloved bands, a musical act that's managed to transcend both time and borders. So, it must have seemed fitting during Trump's current visit to France that they'd welcome him with their very best.
Earlier today, on the historic Champs-Élysées, Trump and the newly elected hot, young French president Emmanuel Macron met to view Paris’s Bastille Day parade, the climax of which would be France's military band playing a delightful medley of Daft Punk's greatest hits.
The show was meant to be a diplomatic serenade that showed the world Trump and Macron were getting along juuuust swimmingly, but as the band trumpeted and marched through “Get Lucky,” “One More Time” and the ebullient “Digital Love," it became rapidly clear that Trump was just not fuckin' impressed with this honky-fart music. Sad!
How someone has managed to get a footage of our recent anesthesia comedown hallucination, we'll never know …
Macron, who is old enough to be your boyfriend and probably owns rare vinyl B-sides of Daft Punk's entire discography, looks like's having more fun than the time he got the Daft Punk robot head secretly tattooed on his inner thigh. He's dancing in his seat; the very picture of youth and Daft Punk's target demographic.
Trump, meanwhile, is sporting an upside-down parabola for a mouth and looks like someone just pissed in his cottage cheese. His face registers a mannequin-like nothingness as he struggles to make it through this children's concert without popping a Metamucil, and we're pretty sure what he whispered to Macron when he did manage to move was "I won't take my medicine." He was, how do you say, unimpressed and 80 years-old.
While Trump, who's starred in plenty of music videos, was probably well aware of who Daft Punk is, it also seemed he wasn't quite aware of where he was … or why he was.
That, or he was just pissed he wasn't watching Robert deNiro.
God damn, diplomacy awkward, isn't it?