Each month, we set two daters up at a restaurant, give them free food and drinks, then wait for the magic to happen. This month's Blind Date, we set Elliott and Jennifer up for a special night at Shotgun Willie's in Denver.
Meet The Daters:
What do you do for fun? Rock climb, go to concerts (all of them), and snowboard.
What are you best at? Fixing cars. I’m pretty good at partying, too.
What do you suck at? I suck at everything that I don’t do.
Do you sing in the shower? No. I should, but I don’t.
What are you most grateful for? My people. Friends and family.
Do you want kids? Negative. For sure negative. I’m too old.
Immediate red flags: I’m not good at red flags. I don’t see them.
One thing you can’t live without: My spontaneous adventure. Like doing this. Just anything and everything that I can get myself into.
Why did your last relationship end: Because she was dating a lesbian.
Celebrity crush: Brad Pitt? And Mila Kunis. And Jenna Ortega.
Guilty pleasure: Sleeping.
What do you do for fun? I ski, snowboard, golf, travel a lot, and I have a slight addiction to live music.
What are you best at? Kissing!
What do you suck at? Being on time.
Do you sing in the shower? No. It would be cool if I did.
What are you most grateful for? My friends.
Do you want kids? No!!!
Immediate red flags: Kids. Being divorced. If the guy doesn’t have friends.
One thing you can’t live without: Chapstick.
Why did your last relationship end: Are you trying to make me cry right now? He stole $6k from me. He was a THIEF! Degenerate piece of shit.
Celebrity crush: Thor.
Guilty pleasure: Wearing a robe on my way to a hot tub with a full bottle of bubbles that I don’t have to share with anyone.
In a first for Rooster, we hosted the blind date at a strip club—Shotgun Willie's. Why? It's the perfect environment to let it all hang out. Elliott shows up rugged, no haircut, two beers deep. Jennifer arrives next, hair and nails done, a woman on a mission. After the pair settle in with drinks and a couple dancers, we pull them aside to see how it's going.
How’s it going so far?
E: I think it’s going well. We’re talking about Chicago, bars, clubs, venues and concerts oh my! And titties!
J: It’s going really well. He’s also from Illinois. He’s also a Pisces. His birthday is a day before mine. He’s really easy to talk to. He’s a cutie, and we both love strip clubs!
What were your first impressions of the dater?
E: She’s very attractive. She’s kind of aggressive, but I’m not aggressive so …
J: He’s got pretty eyes. I like his cute outfit. And I like his long hair and his beard. He’s cute and he’s tall!
Is this the type of person you’d normally date?
E: I don’t know if I’d normally approach her.
Anything right away that might be a deal breaker?
E: Not at the moment.
J: Nope. A stripper might try to steal one of us so who knows, we might have a threesome which would be kind of fun.
Where do you normally meet potential partners?
E: In the ether, at the gym, at the bars.
J: I don’t. I’ve been single for eight years. Online dating sucks!
What’s the strangest dating story you have?
E: The last girl I was seeing was pretty strange. We came here once!
J: Do I tell you about the time that I was catfished? Or do I tell you about the time I was catfished?
What are you most nervous about for tonight?
E: I was nervous to meet new people.
J: I’m not nervous about titties in my face.
Did you get any advice for this date?
E: Nope. Just have fun. And I’m having fun!
J: One girlfriend told me to take two shots before the date to calm my nerves (I didn’t). My other girlfriend said not to wear patterns because it doesn’t photograph well.
How did you prepare for the date?
E: Over four days. I did not get a haircut. I drank two beers.
J: I did yoga and then I got my hair and nails done because I’m a domesticated bitch!
How did your date dress tonight?
E: She looks good. I’m going to see titties one way or another!
J: Comfy, casual, sexy.
Will there be a goodnight kiss?
E: I don’t know yet.
J: Yeah, I’m gonna kiss him. I always do.
First impressions went smoothly! Both from Chicago, Pisces, and an affinity for strippers. We aren't sure if it's the environment or the aggressive nature of Jennifer but it seems like tonight's going to end well. We give the daters a couple ones for some post-dinner shennanigans but not before seeing how things are going.
How was dinner?
E: It was good, it was fun. She’s funny. The steak was good.
J: The steak was really good! It was super juicy. The mashed potatoes and the asparagus were delicious. The chef even came over halfway through our meal to make sure everything was okay which was really nice.
Do you two have anything in common?
E: We came from the same area, which is very weird. And we both like strip clubs!
J: We have a lot in common. We’re vibin’.
What do you like about your date?
E: She’s very attractive, super cool, way down to earth and all that jazz. I think she’s out going.
J: He’s really funny. He’s relatable. That’s all I’m going to say. We’re talking about too much stuff that’s not appropriate for the magazine!
What do you not like about your date?
E: Nothing. Just that her ex-boyfriend is here. He just walked by.
J: The only thing that we don’t have in common is our taste in music. He likes heavy metal and I don’t. And we argued over how to pronounce ‘lychee.’ We had our first argument!
What’s the most attractive thing about your date?
E: She is having a ball at the strip club on a first date.
J: His personality—and he’s sharing his vape pen with me.
What’s been the best part of the date so far?
E: We’re all down. She’s down, I’m down. The titties are great. The fact that nothing is awkward.
J: The conversation is great. The steak was wonderful.
What could make the date better?
E: Not much. A fat stack of one’s. I’m going to get that soon.
J: Nothing. I think all first dates should be at a strip club. Rooster has changed my mind about first dates at strip clubs!
How’s the chemistry on a scale of 1-10?
E: (Distracted) There is so much ass around here. I would say a 9 or 9.5. Maybe a 10. We’re having fun.
J: 10. So good. I keep staring at the ladies while we’re talking and I have to apologize for getting distracted by them. He’s been really cool about me ogling over the girls.
Where would you like the night to go from here?
E: Her house probably. It's closer.
J: We’re probably going to stay here and have some fun at the stage. Make it rain on some really nice exotic dancers!
So, good night kiss?
E: I’ll try.
J: Yeah. Anything more TBD.
Are they worthy of a second date??
E Oh yeah. Yes.
Who would have thought strippers would be the secret to a happy and successful first date? The lovebirds can't seem to keep their hands off each other and their eyes off the talent. Rooster leaves to take a cold shower. We check in the next day to see how things went.
What happened after Rooster left?
E: We sat at the stage and kept throwing money around and getting drinks. We stayed until 2 a.m.
J: We stayed and watched a few more of the performers. We pretended like we were celebrating our 5-year anniversary. My fake name was Courtney and his was Paul.
What was the best part of the date and why?
E: I thought it was cool that we come from the same area and our birthdays are really close, and all that weird shit.
J: The amateur competition! It made the date and gave us something to talk about. I also really liked the music they were playing.
Was there a goodnight kiss?
E: Yeah, no tongue. It was fast and furious.
J: There was. We exchanged numbers, and he walked me out and gave me a good night kiss before I got in my ride.
Will there be a second date?
E: I think so. She’s into skiing and snowboarding so it would be cool to do that. She’s really into golf. I’d go mini golfing with her.
J: Yeah! I think we're meeting up on Sunday.
Anything you want to end with?
E: It was a blast. For going to a strip club on a first blind date, I think it was successful.
J: Going to a strip club for a date was definitely an interesting experience, but it was really fun. I’m excited to go to another strip club with Elliot in the future.
Success! Well, kinda. We checked in with Elliott to see how the second date went but it appears Jennifer "had to work." Sadly, she might have found love at the strip club like all the other patrons. Maybe she'll remember the great memories of this date and decide to go on that second date. In the meantime, Rooster is back on the search for finding love. See you next issue!