It's time to ask the tough questions.
Democrat or republican, young or old, man or woman, black or white, there's one thing everybody can agree on: boobs are great.
And if you're a lady who wasn't blessed with a decent pair of chesticles, modern science has come up with a completely legit way of rectifying that problem, and it'll only cost about $6,000. So if you've got enough for a used car, you could potentially have a big set of cans instead.
But just because you can doesn't necessarily mean that you should. In a very scientific manner, we conducted an official fun-bag survey, and it seems like everyone has a very strong opinion about whether or not to enhance what Mother Nature gave you.
Once the dust settled, we let the two most opinionated people write their most compelling arguments out. It's up to you to decide.
Pro-Plastic: Crank 'em up to the max
Breasts are a beautiful, squishy expression of a woman's beauty and femininity. Everyone can agree that boobs are probably the greatest thing in the whole world — so just imagine if you were a lady that basically only had a two-foot stomach with nipples on it. Growing a set of tits is a right of passage for girls as they mature into women, and denying that experience to someone based on a bad genetic roll of the dice is cruel and unusual. We have the technology. We can solve this problem. And for the low, low cost of about $4,000, you can express your maturity as a woman right there on your chest. And if that's too expensive, you can even crowd source the cost! MyFreeImplants.com is basically a Kickstarter for titties, so poor finances will no longer be an issue.
Just look at how happy that lady is. And the dude in the photo is totally sick of the flat-chested bimbos rubbing him — he wants the monster-sized babe right next to him with the sweet cans.
In today's dating scene, it can be hard to stand out from the crowd. If something as simple as a boob job could help you meet the man (or woman) of your dreams, then every sane person on the planet would tell you to go for it.
God bless America.
Anti-job: Shake what your momma gave you
In today's hyper-sexualized culture, not having breasts can be tough. I get that. But you shouldn't try to validate yourself as a person by enhancing two sacks of fat on your chest. Surgery can be dangerous, you need to go in every 5-10 years for a tune-up, girls with boob jobs have higher levels of depression … the list goes on and on, but the most compelling reason not to is that you're fine just the way you are. Think about it: if some guy will only talk to you because of your big plastic tits, is someone that shallow really the kind of guy you want to spend time with? Wouldn't you rather be with someone who values your personality and intelligence?
Plain and simple, boob jobs are basically prostituting yourself. And I love looking at titties, real or fake. But that's because it ignites the horny part of my brain. And the same is true for every dude on the planet, and when a dude is acting out of horniness, no one wins. That dude isn't civilized or geniune — he just wants to bust a nut. And that's no way to live your life. (Well, maybe once and a while.) Having fake boobs ramps up attention from guys, and that attention isn't good attention — they just want to fuck you.
Women are such a damn sexy species that inflating their chests with goo is insulting. Confidence makes someone way, way more attractive than surgically enhanced cleavage. If you're not comfortable with your body, no amount of silicone or botox is going to change that.