If you're planning on driving on 28th Street, Colorado Ave. or Highway 36 near Boulder, plan to be very, very late for your book club orgy, because Ferguson protestors have announced a "die-in" to shut down traffic during rush hour today.

If you're planning on driving on 28th Street, Colorado Ave. or Highway 36 near Boulder, plan to be very, very late for your book club orgy, because Ferguson protestors have announced a "die-in" to shut down traffic during rush hour today.

Boulder County Sheriff Joe Pelle today said local law enforcement agencies are preparing for the announced march, but that it would be a "no-win situation" for police.

"If we don't do anything about it, the public will be upset," Pelle said. "But if we did, it could involve arrests or tear gas or force. And, again, we will be scrutinized."

Translation: You could be tear-gassed in your car in traffic, which is pretty much the same feeling as sitting in traffic anyway, so it's not that bad!

Recent events in Ferguson, Mo., and New York have sparked protests and marches the past two weekends in Boulder that have shut down intersections in the city, but this is the most ambitious one planned yet.

The protestors are planning to assemble at 5:30 p.m. at 28th Street and Colorado Avenue for the "die in," then they'll march south in an effort to shut down U.S. 36.

No arrests were made in the weekend marches, and Pelle said law enforcement would likely be able to handle a short die-in at 28th and Colorado. But he also said if the protesters march farther down U.S. 36 during rush hour, the resulting gridlock would have major impacts on the city, including stopping emergency vehicles from responding in the area.

However, one of the protest organizers, Kevin Recinos, says they're "not trying to stop anyone who has an emergency … but we don't consider going to Target an emergency." We don't know man, we really need some spermicidal lube.

As for whether or not this protest could turn violent … come on. It's Boulder. The most violent thing Boulder is capable of is a quinoa embargo. And so far, the interactions between police and protestors in Boulder has been relatively benign, with both sides making an effort to work together to create peaceful opposition. Shit, if only Boulder police were as forgiving for a certain 420 rally ….

If you don't want to take part in the protests, take evasionary action. Arapahoe or Baseline to 96th street or 287 are two great escapes from Boulder. Otherwise, congratulations, you're officially a police brutality protestor!

While you're deciding, we'll go ahead and order a magic carpet so we can get down to Denver in time for our Leather Daddy meeting.