When we were growing up in Littleton, Colorado, everyone we knew called it “Littlefun” because there wasn’t shit to do there besides committing misdemeanors and petty drug sales. If you want another reason why we call it Littlefun, imagine if the town just had a restaurant open that specialized in chicken salad.

This opening marks the fourth location in Colorado for “Chicken Salad Chick,” with the first 100 customers that lined up outside the establishment receiving free chicken salad once a month for an entire year. That’s a cool idea, but who the fuck eats that much chicken salad? Get ready to join us next month, when we open up a restaurant specializing in 1950s-style hams that are encased in jello. The first 100 customers to line up outside our doors get their shirts pulled up over their heads and hockey punched.