Settle down all of you over-sharers and chicken littles alike, the sky is where it should be and we aren't, in fact, drinking engine coolant to get all whoopy. Let the weekend commence, we're all gonna be just fine.

There isn’t any time in our own lives where we can remember there being more knee-jerking and fear mongering available at the tips of our fingers than where we are now. If it isn’t people stressing about a rare and proven manageable disease then it’s worldly controversy this and anti-hedonism that. This county is absolutely in love with being so damned scared of everything it grabs sensational stories off the ‘net and wildly shares it with peers as if somehow clicking on a falsified story is going to be the next civil revolution.

Case in point: The current outrage over everyone’s favorite cinnamon flavored boozy companion, Fireball, and the rumor it contains antifreeze … and which will kill you … and will also kill puppies … and will kill innocent babies if they even so much as look at it.

Share! For the love of innocence and virtue, share every stinking article now so humanity can be saaaaaved! Here’s an example of some of the headlines floating around in the electronic sphere of poo:

“Fireball Whiskey Recalled In Europe For Containing Too Much Of A Chemical Used In Antifreeze.” (

“You’ve Been Drinking Antifreeze Propylene Glycol In Fireball Whiskey. (

“The World’s Grossest Liquor Is Being Recalled In Europe for Basically Being Toxic.” (

But seriously, stop it. Fireball does not contain full-blown antifreeze, and it’s not going to kill you or any aforementioned living organisms. Also, it’s delicious.

Reports abound via social media sites have been falsely citing a recent move by the Finnish and Swedish governments' decision to pull the whiskey from shelves to monitor the levels of propylene glycol. Its distributional effect is contained to those two countries alone.

Yes, the same propylene glycol that is found in a higher concentration form in antifreeze, but also the same propylene glycol that is found in everything from airplane de-icers to beauty products to snack foods. It’s also the same propylene glycol that the FDA has deemed safe to ingest, and will continue to be used even after the smoke has cleared from social media. Likewise, using propylene glycol in antifreeze is a safer alternative to the previously used ethylene glycol, which was killing off family pets because of accidental ingestion.

Whew! Panic, diverted.

A statement released by Sazerac, the makers of Fireball, in response to the mayhem reads:

The ingredient in question was propylene glycol (PG). PG is a regularly used and perfectly safe flavouring ingredient.PG has been used in more than 4,000 food, beverage, pharmaceutical and cosmetic products for more than 50 years. Most people consume PG every day in soft drinks, sweeteners, some foods or alcoholic beverages. All Fireball formulas are absolutely safe to drink and the use of PG in Fireball creates no health risk whatsoever. There is no recall in North America. Fireball fans can continue to enjoy their favourite product as they always have.

The reason why it was pulled by the two country’s liquor retail agencies, Alko and Systembolaget, is because the approach to food and drink is far more of a “don’t fuck around” approach than our own. If something seems to be even remotely out of whack for human consumption, it’s immediately banned and the argument over. It’s said by some to be about fifty times more stringent than America’s.

Because, hell, we’ll shove just about anything into our bodies in this country so long as it isn’t life-saving vaccinations.

So, breathe, Halloween weekend isn’t ruined and everyone may proceed to get as shit-hammered as they please in what little of fabric their costumes contain. Unless driving drunk is involved, of course– that shit will kill you.