Someone named Deez Nuts is polling surprisingly well in different parts of the nation.
It sounds like something straight out of a YouTube video, but believe it or not it, Deez Nuts is a real person and he is ready to be your president.
He's not, really, in fact, "Deez Nuts" is a product of a 15-year-old kid out of Iowa named Brady Olson, with time on his hands and the intellectual strength enough to play a hilarious joke on a political system that's also a hilarious joke.
In North Carolina, the falsely entered Deez Nuts recently polled in at a whopping 9 percent. Not bad for a candidate that no one knew existed until Tuesday.
Although Nuts is doing well in NC, the news doesn’t seem to bother major candidates like Donald Trump or Bernie Sanders. Hillary Clinton on the other hand is likely a little concerned, she’s never been good at handling nuts.
Penis, Politics. Both start with P's and she has no idea how either work.
While Rolling Stone reports Nuts' political views as "for balanced budgets, against illegal immigration, for gay marriage and against oil subsidies," we think the headlines alone would be enough reason to vote for him. Just imagine: "Deez Nuts comes from behind, takes Trump by Surprise" or "Deez Nuts stopped short by Clinton's birth control policies" — the possibilities are truly endless.
And who will his vice president be? Ben Dover? Phil Matitee? Mike Hunt? James Bond's Pussy Galore? We have so many questions for the kid who still isn't eligible to run for president for another twenty years.
Seriously though, they named her Pussy Galore.
At least Deez Nuts is giving us hope for America. Finally, all Americans are starting to agree on something. Crips, Bloods, Hispanics, whites, the homeless — everyone knows Deez Nuts is exactly what this country needs to turn itself around. He definitely has our votes.
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