… You know, the good stuff. The local hero also let loose about his hopes for the future, interracial show hosting and the weirdest joke he’s ever seen performed.

Stephen Agyei is one of the hottest names right now in Denver comedy. He won the Comedy Works Clean Comedy Contest in 2012, has been featured at clubs on both coasts, and has opened for comic heavyweights like Dave Chappelle, Mitch Fatel, Todd Barry, and Tig Notaro.

We sat down with him to talk about how he got started, his hopes for his career, and naturally, how comedy led him to putting a dildo in an older woman’s ass. Guess that's what happens when you try to interview this dude.

How did you get started in comedy?

I went to CU Boulder and I was running track at the time and I quit because I got tired of getting tired. So after I quit I told one of my friends that I always wanted to do stand up and three days later he calls me and says “Hey man I just saw a sign for open mic stand up. Do you want to try it?” I was like, “Hell yeah.” So I signed up and for that whole week I was trying to write and come up with shit. Did the mic, and boom, never turned back.

How did that first open mic go?

First one was great. Killing. Second one? Oh shit. Second one tanked. I ate so much dick.

Well you stuck with it and it seems to have paid off for you. You’re doing great in the Denver comedy scene. What's the worst gig you've ever had?

I did this show in New Jersey in 2012 and it was packed. It was in the ballroom of a La Quinta Inn. You could tell the people were not there for stand-up. The MC gets up and starts doing the oldest form of Def Jam comedy. It was just bad. He was saying stuff like, “You ever seen somebody without no ankles?” And I was like “They're going to hate me.” I got up, 300 people there, started telling jokes, and man it was SILENT. One dude booed. I was supposed to do 10 minutes but the MC gave me the light at three and a half.

Have you ever gotten laid because of a show you did?

Yes I have. The craziest one was after I did this show in Fort Collins, I went home and then I got a message from this chick that’s like, "Oh my gosh you’re so funny. You’re just the type of guy I go for.” And at this point my dick is harder than algebra. Then she starts sending me pictures. Spread eagle. Tits. Taking pictures of a dildo in her pussy. She asks, “When are you coming to Fort Collins next? You should come fuck my pussy.” So I told her I had another show in Fort Collins on Tuesday. Then I checked out her Facebook profile and it says she graduated high school in 1985. I was like, “Oh shit! This bitch is 45!” And I’m like, “Am I about to fuck this 45 year old right now?”

Next thing you know I’m speeding down the highway, I get to her crib, she gives me some 3.2 beer, we did a shot of Malibu. And then we’re sitting on the couch and she jumped on me. She goes “You in my room right now.” Then she says “I want you and a dildo in my ass right now.” I was like “What the fuck?”

So that happened. Then she goes “Choke me.” So I do and she’s like “Harder, harder!” And I’m like, “Bitch you ain’t gonna be able to breathe in a minute.” Then she said wanted me to hit her. So I started giving her baby love taps cause I had never done something like that before, and kept saying,“Harder harder!” So then I was swinging my hardest, POW, POW, whopping her ass, and man she liked it. I was so scared cause she was white and I was like “If this is a setup I’m going to jail.”

Sorry man, we need a moment of silence after that.

… Okay. And we're back. We know you run a show at the Soiled Dove with another comedian, Matt Monroe. How did that get started?

I was talking to Matt about starting a show because we’re pretty good at riffing with each other. And there’s a lot of shows in town that have two hosts, but none of them are interracial.

Why did you want a show with interracial hosts?

The diversity. It also helps the show stand out and I think it can bring a better audience, a more representative audience. I think it’s good if you have a chance to have another dimension.

What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever seen someone do on stage?

In New York, this older lady goes on stage, sits on the stool, pulls out her wallet, then lifts up her skirt, shows her pussy and starts yelling, “THESE KIDS THEY CAME OUT OF ME,” while pointing to the picture of her kids in the wallet.

Wow. Well at least she had confidence. Where are you hoping to get with your comedy career?

I want to own a McDonald's franchise. Nah, I want to tour internationally, a TV show of some sort, maybe some type of late night talk show thing, I have a sitcom idea I’ve been fleshing out. I want to do all of it. Also at the same time, I just want to be able to do stand-up and not have to go to a day job.

Do you have any upcoming shows you want people to know about?

Yea I’ll be at the Telluride Blues and Brews Festival September 18th through the 20th and I’ll be competing in the semi-final round of the New Faces contest down at Comedy Works on the 21st. Also, the next show at the Soiled Dove is on September 25th and people can check Groupon for discounted tickets.

For more Stephen, check out his twitter: @StephenAgyei