We don't know about you, but we were under the impression that Denver was the unequivocal champion of beer cities. We are, after all, called the "Napa Valley of Beer," and with over 40 microbreweries and a butt-load of major beer operations like Coors in our backyard, we're well-known for consuming more beer than water, the vital life fluid. However, it seems as though the little shit town of Bend, Oregon has upstaged us.

We don't know about you, but we were under the impression that Denver was the unequivocal champion of beer cities. We are, after all, called the "Napa Valley of Beer," and with over 40 microbreweries and a butt-load of major beer operations like Coors in our backyard, we're well-known for consuming more beer than water, the vital life fluid. However, it seems as though the little shit town of Bend, Oregon has upstaged us.

According to Livability.com, Bend is the best little beer place in the country. Apparently, their microbreweries specialize in "intense and unusual flavors." Apparently the "25 breweries located in and around Bend give residents easy access to high-quality, locally made beer." Apparently 25 breweries is more than Denver's 40. Apparently the fact that we have some of the world's largest beer fests (Great American Beer Festival, hello) isn't as exciting as the fact that Bend has four growler filling stations.

Apparently the sky is red.

Apparently we don't even know where we are right now, or if we want to live in a world that won't acknowledge our unending devotion to beer as the country's foremost.

We're not going to settle for silver. You know what they do to silver medalists?

Two words. Tanya. Harding.

We're just kidding you guys. We're happy to accept the second place rating.  And we'd like to extend our sincerest congratulations to Bend, who, this time next year, will be in second place where they belong.

Also, just so you know: Colorado is home to four of the 50 largest breweries in America and six of the 50 largest craft breweries in the country, according to annual numbers released in 2013 by the Boulder-based Brewers Association. And the best beer walk in the country, where drunk people can access 20 pubs on foot, all within drunk stumbling distance of each other. So … bring it on, Bend.