It's the question that's no doubt been plaguing your mind all day: "What would have had to happen for me to be admitted to a mental hospital in 1874?" It's one of society's most frequently-asked-questions, but thanks to this 'Reasons for Admissions' list from West Virginia's Hospital for the Insane, we now know exactly what would have gotten us stuck in a straight jacket 140 years ago: exposure and quackery. Goddamn that quackery!

Some of our most favorite causes of insanity from this list include "uterine derangement," "novel reading," "bad whiskey," and "immortal life," because that totally means something. By the way, is there a difference between "women trouble" and "imaginary female trouble?" If you can answer that, you're insane. Interesting…this looks more like our list of excuses why we can't stay over after a one-night-stand…