The United States government spends more than $600 billion a year on defense, and you'll be happy to know that they're not wasting your hard-earned tax dollars on muskets or bottle rockets. No, they're researching things like invisibility and robots. So, grab your bug out bag and follow us, we're checking out a few of the freshest weapons coming to a war zone near you.
The United States government spends more than $600 billion a year on defense, and you'll be happy to know that they're not wasting your hard-earned tax dollars on bottle rockets and muskets. No, they're researching things like invisibility and robots. So, grab your bug out bag and follow us, we're checking out a few of the freshest weapons coming to a war zone near you.
XM-25 Grenade Launcher
This grenade launcher makes your grenade launcher look like a bitch. It's computer programmed and can fire up to 25 grenades as far away as two football fields. You can program how far you want your grenades to go, when you want them to explode, and, you can even watch porn on it. Just kidding about the porn, but really, it's only a matter of time.
High Energy Liquid Laser Area Defense System
Forget bogging down a plane with tons of ammunition, we've got lasers now. Soon, planes equipped with The High Energy Liquid Laser Area Defense Systems will be able to shoot down rockets, missiles and artillery shells all without having to deal with the horrible smell of gunpowder. Now we are one step closer to to defeating the clone army. We would be further, but nobody will tell us where we're supposed to pick up our light saber.
Metaflex Camoflauge
Being invisible would be so cool. You could do anything you want. Well creeps, the wait is over because Metaflex Camouflage is a material that bends light around the wearer rendering them invisible. Move over Harry Potter, Uncle Sam is all over your shit.
Free Electron Laser
We've come a long way from sharks with laser beams on their heads. Now we have boats with fucking laser beams in their hulls. The laser can detect enemy vessels, missiles, projectiles, whatever and incinerate them before they do any damage. Sorry Dr. Evil, your reign of terror couldn't last forever.
The Railgun
If you ever need to shoot a giant bullet seven times the speed of sound, the Railgun is the firearm for you. It's powered by electromagnetic energy instead of gunpowder, and the projectiles have 23 megajoules of force behind them. Excuse us while we go change our underwear.
BioDesign Synthetic Orgamisms
They're making organisms that can live forever. What for is unclear, but they claim they'll be able to kill them if they need to. That would be reassuring, except we've all seen this horror story before. Weapons company creates new species, species takes over laboratory, everyone turns into a zombie and the only person who can save the rest of the world is Chuck Norris in a beret.
Hybrid Insect MEMS
The only thing creepier than bugs are cyborg bugs, and that is exactly what scientists have gone and done. Implanted with computers during metamorphosis, these insects can be controlled remotely and used to detect chemical weapons, or spy on you. Take a second to let that nightmare set in. Next time you feel like there are bugs crawling all over you, it's not time to put your crack pipe down, it's time to start freaking out about who's watching you. Well, maybe you should put down the pipe too.
DREAD Slient Weapon System
With a name like DREAD, you know it's gotta be a big gun. This electric-powered automatic can shoot 12,000 rounds a minute with no recoil or heat. Too bad this isn't available on Call of Duty yet, you'd be swinging the biggest dick in cyberspace.
Extreme Accuracy Tasked Ordnance
Say you're a sniper, but you're really bad at your job. We've got great news for you: the EXACTO bullet is a 50-caliber projectile that works similarly to a heat-seeking missile. It can change its course, find your mark and ensure that you won't have to work too hard during target practice ever again. Now if they could just make a gun that assembles and shoots all by itself, all our problems would be solved.
The Google Robots
Google isn't the government, yet, but they have acquired eight robotics companies and have been in cahoots with DARPA, the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency a.k.a. the folks who worked so hard to create these future-weapons, so we had to include these on the list. Boston Dynamics is the brainchild behind all these bots. Some are for collecting intelligence, some for carrying supplies, and some were created to make it hard for you to sleep at night.
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