Just like some people can't hold their liquor, other people can't handle their weed. Fear not potheads, there's no need to freak out and jump off a balcony, especially since we've put together this failsafe list of the best ways to calm the fuck down.
Just like some people can't hold their liquor, other people can't handle their weed. If you've ever been too high, you've had the panic attacks, felt the crushing paranoia, and worst of all experienced your entire being vanish into nothingness. We know this 4/20 is going to be the most epic there ever has been, so it's pretty safe to say that you, yes you, may just reach the point of no return. Fear not potheads, there's no need to freak out and jump off a balcony, especially since we've put together this failsafe list of the best ways to calm the fuck down.
Turn on some music
When you can't stand still, your mind is racing and you're thinking that maybe you should run into traffic because there is no end in sight, crank up some tunes. The music will take your high-as-fuck ass to a new world full of sounds and metaphors that you'll undoubtedly have to sit down and ponder the meaning of. Four hours later you'll realize you've been sitting in the same spot, and be happy that you made it out alive.
Turn on the TV
There's people everywhere, speaking in a language that sounds like English but can't be entirely sure. You have no idea what's going on, but you know it's not good. Just when you're about to cry, bring up your Netflix app and start binge watching "Breaking Bad" again. The lives of Walt and Jesse will distract you from the madness happening around you. Once you're sucked in, you won't be able to avert your eyes until season 5, and by that time, you'll probably be in the mood to smoke another bowl.
It's only noon, and that Rice Krispie treat you were only supposed to eat half of is coming on like freight train. You can't see straight. How come all of a sudden you have 12 fingers, and what the fuck is that sound? Now is when you want to head to the fridge, and empty that bitch. The food will slow the absorption of THC and by the time the 6 pizzas you ordered show up, you'll only have the munchies.
Water water water, your friend when you're shit faced and your friend when you're stoney-baloney. If you're at the point when you can't remember how to walk, and are holding up all your friends who just want to make sure they see Wyclef and B.o.B., grab a water, or a Red Bull if you really can't walk, and chug. The rush of cold will clear your head, and the caffeine doesn't hurt either. You'll catch the show and stay awake the whole time too.
If you really can't get your shit together, everyone is watching you, and you're pretty sure your shoes are complaining they've been on your smell-ass feet for too long. You need to take a nap. Anywhere will do, but your home is obviously preferable. When you wake up, you won't be high. If you still are, turn on a movie and go back to bed, it will all be over soon.
Channel your high
You ate it, smoked it, vaped it and you must live with the consequences. Instead of flipping shit on everyone you know, and ranting about how the government is on their way to collect you for the seditious thoughts they've collected from the chip they implanted in you head not two hours ago, channel that veracious energy into something worthwhile. Like, knitting or playing the piano. Who knows with enough ganga you may become the next Motzart.
But as with most things in life, the best defense is a good offense. Pay attention to the dosage of your edibles, and how many bowls you pack into that bong. And, for the love of all that is holy, chill out. It's just weed.