True love is creamy and nutrient-rich for growing boys.

Your boyfriend.

How much do you love him?

Probably a lot, huh. After all, he's cute and sweet and probably named Kyle or whatever.

But do you love your boyfriend so much that you'd end your career cold turkey just so you could breastfeed him 24 hours a day, 7 days a week?


Then sorry, you don't really love him.

Your love is amateur hour compared to that of Jennifer Mulford and Brad Leeson. Jennifer has kindly modeled what true love really is for the rest of us by quitting her job so that Brad can willfully suck on her titties all day, every day, for both nutritional value and sexual stimulation. This happens every two hours.

Eat shit, Romeo and Boo-liet.

However, while Jennifer and Brad clearly aren't operating within typical relationship boundaries here, they're not exactly alone in their love for lactose.

They're part of what's called an "adult breastfeeding relationship," which is when two people, one who has boobs, derive pleasure from breastfeeding and being breastfed. Usually, it's sexual for those involved, but not always. Sexual or not though, the relationship is based around the very real hormonal connection that occurs between two people involved in the act of breastfeeding.

This connection is facilitated by the hormone oxytocin. which is released during breastfeeding, orgasm and a host of other pleasurable daily activities. Often referred to as the "cuddle" or "trust" hormone, oxytocin facilitates pair bonding between boob and boob user and gives us stronger emotional attachments to the people we're either boning or suckling from like tiny little babies. Given that biological reality, it's actually pretty easy to see how adult breastfeeding relationships work.

Jennifer told the New York Post this sort of enhanced emotional connection was what attracted her to the idea breastfeeding boyfriends in the first place.

“When I read about the bond breastfeeding could create between two people, I was envious,” she said. “I have always enjoyed my breasts being touched during sex more than anything else, so I knew I would enjoy it. When I read about the pure joy it brought others, I was desperate to seek out a partner to share an emotional bond with,” she added.

However, as anyone with an off-the-grid kink knows, finding a partner to indulge your uncommon interests can be tough. For a while there, Jennifer struggled to find a man who was both non-judgmental about her desire to act as a human a milk dispenser, and as enthusiastic about it as she was. Although there were many fish in the sea, it seemed none of them swam in milk.

Eventually, however, her quest led her to her former college boyfriend, Brad (all college boyfriends are named Brad).

“We were talking and Brad told me he had a thing for big-breasted women, and that size had always been a factor in his relationships,” Jennifer said. “I thought it was the perfect time to bring up adult breastfeeding — and see if he’d be interested.”

Hint: He was.

However, since Jennifer hasn't breastfed since having children nearly two decades ago, she really has to try to lactate for baby Brad. For her, this means stimulating her boobies, either with Brad's mouth or a breast pump, every two hours, to induce lactation. With a commitment like that, her day job as a bartender was simply too much.

So she quit. Bye bye bartending, hello boob Brad. 

A 24/7 milk dispensing girlfriend? That's otherworldly. Apart from the biological difficultly of milk production in the absence of pregnancy, ending your career so you can suckle on their bodily fluids at will is a little uncomfortable.

Sucking on lactating yim yams a couple times a month? Fine.

Going nowhere in life so you can become a human creamery? Nope. Nope, nope, nope.

To each their own though. If anything, Brad and Jennifer's very creamy, nutrient-rich love just shows you there's someone out there for everybody. We wonder if she gets nipple orgasms from it though …