Uh … it's just an ingrown hair. Probably. 

If it's one thing kids like doing these days, it's kissing and hugging — sometimes while naked. And while that might sound like a lovely way to kill an afternoon, it's really ramped up the amount of STDs floating around in the world nowadays. Coach Carr tried his best to prevent this:

God, they warned us about this in 2004.

So not only does bacon give you cancer, but just being alive in today's world will probably give you the herp-a-derps. Depressingly, the World Health Organization (WHO) ran some numbers on how many people have herpes, and it ain't good. 

Two-thirds of the world's population under 50 have the highly infectious herpes virus that causes cold sores around the mouth, the WHO said on Wednesday, in its first estimated guess of global prevalence of the disease. More than 3.7 billion people under the age of 50 suffer from the herpes simplex virus type 1 (HSV-1), usually after catching it in childhood, according to their study.


This big-ass number is in addition to 417 million people in the 17-49 age range who have the other form of the disease, HSV-2, which causes genital herpes.

On the plus side, you can't die from either of these nasty little buggers, so it could be a lot worse, right? And since everyone and their cousin has it, companies are looking to cash in by creating more drugs to combat it. 

"We really need to accelerate the development of vaccines against herpes simplex virus, and if a vaccine designed to prevent HSV-2 infection also prevented HSV-1, it would have far reaching benefits," said Sami Gottlieb, a WHO medical officer. Nathalie Broutet, also a WHO medical officer, said the U.S. National Institutes of Health and companies including GlaxoSmithKline Plc were involved in trials to determine whether a therapeutic or preventative vaccine was possible.

And to comfort the virus-carrying among us, since everyone has it, the weirdos are actually people who don't have herpes.