Something doesn't add up …

When it comes to romance, especially foreplay, some males could use just about any help they can get. Just because the blowy-to-sex transition makes up 99.99 percent of pornos, doesn’t mean that’s how it works in the real world. A new bit of research shows guys aren’t even remotely giving as much oral as they are receiving form their partners.

In a study undertaken by the Trojan Sexual Health Division of Church & Dwight Canada in collaboration with the Sex Information and Education Council of Canada, research teams determined that women are performing oral at much higher rates than males, while receiving disproportionately less oral sex in return.

Researchers interviewed 899 men and women between the ages of 18 and 24. The interviewees’ relationship status varied from individuals in committed relationships, people who were “casually dating” and those who were self admittedly simply looking to hook up.

The subjects were asked about their most recent sexual encounter, including questions about whether or not they had given and/or received oral sex. They were then asked to rate how pleasurable the experience was.

Fun fact: plenty of humans are partaking in oral sex. The study found that more than 73 percent of males and nearly 70 percent of women noted their last sexual rendezvous included oral sex (either giving or receiving).

This is when the real discrepancy between the sexes is exemplified: the so called “oral gap.” The vast majority of males (greater than 63 percent) claimed to have received oral during their latest sesh compared to only 43 percent of women.

Beyond the shitty nature of those statistics, things actually only manage to get shittier and more shamelessly selfish for the dudes going forward. Not only were the guys substantially more likely to get a solid blowy out of the whole deal, the same guys who had in fact received oral weren’t reciprocating. According to the researchers:

“Men were significantly more likely than women to report receiving but not giving oral sex.”

What’s most bizarre with those completely lopsided statistics, is the fact that men were more likely to admit to enjoying the act of giving oral sex … by a ratio of nearly two-to-one when compared with women. More than half of males (52 percent) rated performing oral sex on a female as “very pleasurable.” Only 28 percent of women rated giving knob as “very pleasurable.”

So the majority of guys prefer to give oral sex; they overwhelmingly rate the experience exceptionally positive, yet they’re performing oral less than half the time?

The interesting part of the study to discern is the way in which women who had received oral sex tended to rate the overall experience of returning the favor as more pleasurable than if they had not received oral at all. According to the study, more than a third (36 percent) of women who gave oral received oral sex noted that giving a blowjob was “very pleasurable,” whereas a mere 18 percent of women who performed oral but did not have the favor reciprocated rated the experience similarly.

Sounds like the dudes out there are a few moments of selfless oral (which they like anyway!) away from potential repeat business and the all too elusive enthusiastic blowjob.

People can harp on status quos and cultural norms all they want, but we’re calling shenanigans. It sounds to us like the dudes are just being lazy per usual.

As the popular meme goes: ladies, get you a man who can do both…