Ah, yes. Your job. What is it again? Getting paid $10.50 an hour to pretend you're deeply committed to writing product copy for socks? Stomaching customer's requests for coffee that is "not hot, but not cold, yet dry?"
… Something to do with (vomit) spreadsheets?
Whatever it is, you probably don't like it. Work is work, and work sucks.
… Unless, that is, you're getting fucked on the regular. In that case, your job might not seem so bad. You might even kind of like it.
According to a new study published in the Journal of Management, maintaining a healthy sex life at home both improves job satisfaction and increase engagement in work. The more you bone, the more okay you are with whatever menial bullshit you do to make money and not die.
According to the Kevin Leavitt, an associate professor of business at Oregon State University, people who prioritize sex over work and sleep unknowingly give themselves a next-day advantage, where they're more likely to immerse themselves in their job, be more productive and enjoy their work lives to a much greater extent. This is because sex — with or without orgasm — leads to a massive dump of happy hormones like dopamine and oxytocin in the brain, both of which elevate mood and increase energy for up to 24 hours after you roll off each other heaving and sweating. All those hormones percolating in your veins dupe you into a false state of Stepford-like satisfaction, and you strut into work the next day convinced that everything's going to be okay, even though you don't make enough money to move out of your step-dad's garage and probably never will.
"We make jokes about people having a 'spring in their step,' but it turns out this is actually a real thing and we should pay attention to it," Leavitt says. "Maintaining a healthy relationship that includes a healthy sex life will help employees stay happy and engaged in their work, which benefits the employees and the organizations they work for."
To make this discovery, researchers followed 159 married employees for two weeks, and and made them complete two surveys each day — one on job satisfaction, and the other on sexual activity. They found that employees who got laid more reported happier, more optimistic moods the next day, positive feelings which caused them to perform better at work and feel happier doing whatever tasks they had to (microwaving Fish-O-Fillets at at the food court probably sucks a lot less if you had a Roman orgy the night before). What's more, is that both men and women benefited equally from active sex lives, even after researchers accounted for the variables of marital satisfaction and sleep quality, two other things which hugely impact mood and productivity.
Conversely, the study also showed that bringing your work-stress from the office home can negatively affect your sex life. This is especially relevant in a time like the present, where our over-connected, uber-technological lifestyles mean things like responding to work emails after leaving the office are not only common, but expected. When work carries so far into an employee's personal life that they sacrifice things like sex, their engagement in work, and their performance, can decline.
"This is a reminder that sex has social, emotional and physiological benefits, and it's important to make it a priority," Leavitt said. "Making a more intentional effort to maintain a healthy sex life should be considered an issue of human sustainability, and as a result, a potential career advantage … Just make time for it."
No wonder lawmakers Sweden recently proposed that workers be able to take paid time off for sex breaks during the workday. Talk about an employee benefits program.