By all accounts it looks like Hillary spent her youth huffing asbestos and thumb tacks.

Today is yet another "Super Tuesday" for what seems like the hundredth time this primary season. With voters in five states heading to the polls today, it's a big event for the Democrats and the future of the presidential race. Pundits keep throwing around redundant questions like: Can Hillary lock down the nomination today? Can Bernie prove that he is still a viable candidate?

But those questions are lame and ignore the real issues. Mainly — what the hell is up with Hillary Clinton's straight up emphysema cough and is her body about to self-destruct? 

From the looks of it, Hillary Clinton is about to kick the bucket during any one of her next speeches or debates. If she's sworn in, is she going to pull an FDR and die right after being elected? FDR was super sick when he ran for president his last time, and he just hid that fact from voters. Which is kind of like telling a chick to meet you at a bar for drinks and never showing up yourself. Except, you know, he was leader of the United States during WWII and all that. But that's a minor detail.

By all accounts it appears Hillary used to work in a Pennsylvania coal mine in the 1850's and has developed a serious case of black lung. Or maybe her and Bill used to get wild back during their time at Yale and rail lines of asbestos.

There are countless videos of Hillary Clinton coughing uncontrollably, putting up a finger to ask the crowd for a second to recover as the souls of Syrian civilians escape her body, and putting a cough drop in her mouth. Here are some.

From this week…

From last week…

Three minutes of straight coughing back in February…

From January…

And the famous coughing fit during her Benghazi hearing…

So yeah, that doesn't seem good or normal. You know you're in bad heath when the 74-year-old you're running against looks like a professional athlete in comparison to your frail Goldman Sachs sponsored skeleton.

Hillary's go to response for these incidents is that she's tried from traveling and gives too many speeches. In other words, she's tired of doing things a president does. Great. That shouldn't be a problem if she's ever the actual president. Not a problem at all…